Apakah aku ini boneka dirimu???
Yang hanya ada bila kau perlu???
Bila kau merasakan sepi… bila kau merasakan sunyi…
Aku lah yang akan kau cari… untuk menghiburkan hati..

Sekadar manakah keikhlasan hati…
Adakah hanya ingin menerima tanpa pernah memberi???
Atau kau masih ragu dan sangsi…
Apa yang terbuku dalam hatiku ini…

Sayang tidak cukup untuk bahagia…
Kerana bahagia tidak lengkap tanpa cinta…
Dan sesungguhnya kau membuatku merasakan bahagia…
Apakah perlu lagi untukku ungkapkan apa yang ku rasa???

HUjung MInggu

hujung minggu yang menarik... agak depressing time memula aku balik... tapi tak sangka semuanya berjalan dengan baik...

macam dah berzaman rasenya x jumpe balik kawan2 skolah... bile dah jumpe balik berkumpul... certa2 lame pun jadi macam cerita baru... masih lagi kelakar... walau dah banyak kali dengar...
semua yag nakal dulu... dah tak macam tu.... xtau la.. mungkin sebab memasing dah jadi bapak... dah pulak yang ade anak... xkurang jugak yang dah jadi emak...

bile lepak same... masih lagi rase macam budak2 skolah... tapi... lepas tu... aku terase tua la pulak... kite masing2 merantau... jauh menghilang lepas skolah... tapi akhirnya.... kat sini jugak kite kembali... memang betul pun.. there's no place like home...

aku rase macam aku je sorang yang xpernah berubah dari skolah... erm... x jugak... pasal ade classmte akuxkenal aku bile jumpe... hampeh tol... tapi aku rase bangga plak dengan korang... dah de tanggungjawab memasing... and ade matlamat dalam hidup... walaupun kat skolah dulu macam xde mase depan... hahaaha...

memang betul kite x boleh tgk nasib seseorang tu... sebab semua ditentukan dengan usaha... bagus la korang dah ade kesedaran... sedikit sebanyak.. menolong aku pulak nak congak masa depan...

Peaces of Me...

A part of me wants to cry...
Another pat of me... just wanna die...
A third part of me says...
Fuck you guys... I'm so alive...

Why the sad and sorrow???
Its not like there is no tomorrow...

In life... shits happen... nobody dies a vargin...
because life has always a way to fuck us all up...
its a lesson you see... you only learn it after you're thru with it...

So please stop chearing me up...
I am sober... not sobering up...
Thank you I would say for you guys whom stayed...
In my time of need...
You know that I'll be there for you...

I always do...

50 Little Secrets.

Be honest no matter what, then tag at least fifteen friends.


01. Who was your last text from?
Sharifah Shafeeza Masayu

02. Where was your default picture taken?
Block U i think...

03. Your relationship status?
Single Ya'll

04. Have you ever lost a close friend?
More then once... may you guys rest in peace...

05. What is your current mood?
hungry ^_^

06. How many siblings do you have?
2

07. Whats your brother(s)/sister(s) names?
Mohd Shahrulnizam

08. Where do you wish you were right now?
Langkawi

09. Have a crazy side?
tell me who doesn't???

10. Ever had a near death experience?
Yup... there was this one time...

11. Something you do a lot?
talk with Ted (-_-)

12. Angry at anyone?
Not anymore... I'm jubilant

13. What's stopping you from going for the person you like?
err?? she married.. hahahaaha

14. When was the last time you cried?
Hurm...

15. Is there anyone you would do anything for?
My friends.. (yes you!!!!)

16. What you think about when you are falling asleep?
Sheep's?? hehehehe...

17. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Paen....

18. What is your favorite song?
Dancing in the burning room-John Mayer

19. What are you doing right now?
Facebooking.. hehehehe

20. Who do you trust right now?
Only Ted...

21. Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
from the drawer in my room??

22. Have you kissed someone in the past week?
Grandma, Mum , Dad and ted... love them all

23. Who is your best friend that lives closest to you?
Apek, Dilmam, Wan & Adi

24. Describe your life in one word?
Unpronounceable... hehehehe

25. Who are you thinking of right now?
Cik Zarina.. my account lecturer.. wired right??

26. What should you be doing right now?
Account notes and finance

27. What are you listening to?
Ted's snoring in bed...

28. Who was the last person who gave you a hug?
a being is Ted.. a person is... huhuhuhuhu...

29. Who was the last person who yelled at you?
Sherna... its my fault

30. Do you act differently around the person you like?
Never.. i am what i am....

31. What is your natural hair color?
black.

32. Who was the last person to make you laugh?
Paen... gile...

33. Who was the last person to make you sad?
I can't tell you that

34. What do you hear?
myself talking???

35. Is your hair curly or straight?
a bit of both i think...

36. Has anyone ever called you "scrumptious" before?
I ain't no coco puff ya'll

37. Do you have a best friend?
bestfriends... i got whole bunch of them...

38. Held hands with the opposite sex in the past 3 days?
Nope... miss yaya though...

39. Do you use smiley faces on the computer?
every now and then... =) wee~

40. Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
Yea.... and you don't want to know why.. hehehehe...

41. Are you happy with life right now?
Pretty much yeah...

42. Are you currently jealous?
nope.. got no reason to be...

43. What jewelry are you currently wearing?
I use to have a pair of earrings, a ring and a bling necklaces... but i'm over that...

44. What were you doing on friday night?
Paaaarrrtttyyy.... yeah...

45. Have you ever had your heart broken?
its always broken.. i felt numb...

46. Have you ever broken someone's heart?
once... I'm still so sorry for it...

47. Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?
nope...

48. What was the last reason you went to the doctor for?
it was because of dengue fever i think

49. How late did you stay up last night and why?
around 4 i think... was watching a movie in my laptop...

50. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
yes. =.=""


People I Tagg:

Aqie
Kiki
Umifaradilla
Paen??
Miss J'nab

Pandai2 korang je....

Memang la aku cakap aku dah masak... tapi korang wat nafas aku sesak... tetibe je batuk2 tersedak2... korang dah start kutuk aku secara mendadak.... atau mungkin jugak sebab aku tengah sakit tekak... Tapi benda aku dengar ni... walau dah masak... still aku x leh nak buat2 pekak...

Hurmm... Macammane nak buat korang diam??? macammane nak buat korang paham???
please biarla aku happy dengan hidup aku sendiri... xpayah la nak tinngkatkan aku punya populariti... aku sangat x minat dengan publisiti yang korang cuba bagi.. cukup la semua explotasi ni... jagalah tepi kain korang sendiri... aku bukan lelaki sensasi...

LIfe Path Numbers

Dear Chanho Zouk, Your Life Path Number is 8. This based on below calculation:

Birth Date: 22-06-1987
2+2+0+6+1+9+8+7=35=3+5=8
Below are the analysis of life path number 8: The Life Path 8 suggests that you entered this plane armed to lead, direct, organize and govern. You are very ambitious and goal-oriented. You will want to use your ambitions, your organizational ability, and your efficient approach to carve a satisfying niche for yourself. If you are a positive 8 you are endowed with tremendous potential for conceiving far-reaching schemes and ideas, and also possessing the tenacity and independence to follow them through to completion. In short, you were born to be an executive. You know how to manage yourself and your environment. Your ability to judge the character and potential of the people around you is an asset used to your advantage. A large part of your success in life comes from how hard you work. This Life Path is the most prone to producing workaholics. But your ability to spot good people and engage them in your endeavors is a special trait not to be overlooked. There is an inspirational quality in your makeup which allows you to become a great leader. You are practical and steady in your pursuit of major objectives, and you have the courage of your convictions when it comes to taking the necessary chances to get ahead.

Here's the think that most of you don't know....

Today in class during mass lecture we were learning about business pressure... there are 3 of them... but I can only remember 1... Because I wasn't paying enough attention to the class... and that 1 business pressure was society… in business… you also need to keep the society happy… because they are the source of you’re income…. Then the lecturer gave us of an example…. Mc Donald’s… yup… Mc D… the brand that we all know all so well… especially when we’re hungry and in need of food that is good and fast…

As I was saying… if you all still remember last year when Israel attack and murder the Palestine… society around the world wasn’t happy… and what did we do? We boycott all products that is Israel base… and one of them is believe to be Mc Donald’s… and so… to keep the society happy and trying to coupe with the heavy decline in their sale… they introduce Mc Saver lunch hour… and try to convince the society that they are not directly involve with the war and terror of the Israelis….

After giving it though and looking the situation via various angles… I am convinced that they have nothing much to do with it… and so for lunch just now… I went to Mc Donald’s to try out the lunch time Mc Saver… I ordered Mc Chicken Sandwich… which was at the tag price was RM 5.95… But later on… I had to pay RM 7.50… at first I realize that there’s 5% government tax impose as always… and so I calculated just to see why does 5% of RM 5.95 could become RM 7.50… but it didn’t… its only RM 6.24…

So out of curiosity… I asked the casher why is it RM 7.50… then she said it was because I order large… it’s an extra RM 1.20… so it all add up… they round out the figure and that’s where the RM 7.50 came from… so what I’m trying to say is… if you really want to save… just order medium… but… I still can’t confirm the price yet… and so I’m coming back again tomorrow…. =)

Malas... malas... malas....

Apesalah aku nie malas sangat nak g kelas??? Kepala asik nak tido... bile bangun... sorang2 kat umah buat bodo... Tapi sem nie bagus.... ade Ah fuu sebagai aku puny pengurus.... kalau aku malas... pagi2 masih lagi ngan ted berbungkus... Ah fuu xcakap banyak sepak terus....

Hasilnya.. seminggu full aku datang... lecturer pun dah ramai yang tercengang... ada tu dua tiga kali pandang... macam la aku nie hantu jembalang.... semua nie berkat ahfuu punya penendang... Aku benci akaun... tapi benci2 pun terpakse sayang... sebab ni je last peluang... lepas nie xde g peluang yang datang... aku pun xnak lagi kecundang...

so Ah fuu... sepak la aku... moga2 jasa kakimu kan ku kenang selalu... huhuhuhu...

ade soalan?? sile la tanya...

Hari ni orang tanya soalan yg same lagi....

well actually bile pikir2 balik.. aku pun x pasti... tapi sherna cakap aku terbaik sebagai kawan... tapi bukan sebagai teman.. mungkin betul kowt ape yg die katekan... sebab aku memang lebihkan kawan2... hahahaha... dan ye.. kawan aku lebih banyak perempuan... ape nak heran... sebab aku ikhlas berkawan...

lelaki pun ramai jugak... same banyak.. cume korang je yang xnampak... aku x heran dan aku dah masak... bile orang cakap belakang... yang aku nie lelaki hidung belang... biase la manusia... xpuas hati bile tgk orng lain ade lebih dari die... kalau die xde... orang laen pun xboleh ade same... bile orang kenal aku siape... dan tahu aku nie sebenarnya macamane... semua kata2 tu hilang dengan sendirinye...

yanadey pernah kate kalau aku jadi bf die... dah lame aku makan kaki die... sebab aku nie susah nak ramal. susah nak percaya... ramai perempuan keliling pingang... sorang pergi... tetibe lagi sorang datang... gf mane yang x bengang??? tapi orang slalu tersilap pandang.... suke sangat nak cakap belakang... orang cakap x kenal maka x cinta... ... tapi korang suke sangat nak tuduh membabi buta... macamlah korang tu sempurna... xde cacat... xde cela... sebelum nak mengata... pandang la cermin... and tgk la muke... pastu cuba korang tanya...

"Adekah aku nie sempurna... langsung xde cacat cela... dari peangai sampai paras rupe..?"...

kalau Ya... maka korang boleh la nak mengata... tapi nanti pandailah korang nak tanggung dosa...

Kau datang kau pergi... aku... still lagi kat sini...

Die datang lagi... tapi kali ni aku x tau samada nak suruh die stay atau pergi...
tapi die datang banyak kali... tapi yang dulu baru je pergi... xkan dah nak suruh die tetibe muncul kembali...

benda baik slalu datang pada orng yg sabar menunggu... tapi menunggu pada aku kadang kala sesuatu yang xperlu... sebab x sedikit pun membantu bile aku sedang merindu... tapi tgk je la dulu.. pe yang dah berlaku... semua tu sebab xsabar nak tunggu... tapi aku buat ape yang aku perlu.. tapi rase macam aku ikutkan perasaan ngan nafsu... tu agaknya yang buat aku bertindak melulu... sampai akhirnya.. aku sendiri yang buntu...

ishk.... benda nie xrumit kalau aku pandai menilai... mane yang baik.. mane yang xboleh pakai...
hurm... tapi benda nie macam xperlu je.. lagipun... keputusan die nanti xmenentu...
biar la kali nie aku sabar lagi.... sabar sampai yang datang nanti... betul2 xkan pergi...

Hah? ape die?....

Kadang kale macam nak pecah kepale... memikirkan kenape??? ape die lagi? ape yang kau xpuas hati? kan kau dah kate benci.... so ape lagi?? sile lah pergi... xpayah lagi berhajat nak datang kembali... pade aku kau dah mati... beratus kad jemputan kau bagi.. xmungkin kau boleh harap aku akan pergi... kau x ingat dulu ape yg jadi? kau nak nanti jadi lagi? owh.. sorry... this is not for me.... biar kau pergi jauh... for sure aku xkan follow... ape yang sudah tu sudah... jangan kata sekarng baru kau nak ragu... tinggal lagi berapa minggu... sebelom kau jadi pengantin baru... tolong la and please lupekan aku... ape yg jadi antara kite tu dulu... aku memang buntu bile first time dapat tahu... tapi lepas tu... aku terima sebab semua ni Tuhan dah tentu... Rasional dalam pemikiran... ingat pesan aku... ingat ape semua yg pernah aku ajar pada kau dulu... InsyAllah... kau akan dapat ape yang kau perlu...

Apabile kte marah, macam2 boleh kluar dari mulut nie... kata2 yang akhirnya mengundang penyesalan pada kemudian hari...
pernah dulu aku diberitahu... apabila kite marah.. kite selalu akan kuarkan segala kata2 yg benar dari dalam hati kite... ape yg kite betul2 rase...
teori tu ade betulnya... tapi x dijelaskan dengan detail...

kite memang akan dengan tidak sengaja mengeluarkan kata2 yg x diingini atau didegari... secara spontan... kemarahan tu datang
disebabkan ketidakwarasan akal yang menyumbang kepada perlakuan tidak rasional... tetapi marh tu jarang sangat berlaku... mrh biasa ialah marah yang selalu...
marah bergaduh... dalam situasi ini... intipati kata-kata yang diucapkan tidak membawa sebarang makna... hanya untuk mencari kemenangan, kepuasan bertikan lidah...
kata2 yang terpancul lebih kepada untuk menyakitkan hati orang yg di ingini... dendam.... jenis ni lebih radikal pengunaannya kerana fitrah manusia ntuk berasa marah...

sesungguhnya bersabar itu sebahagian dari iman.... maka kuatkan lah iman tu supaya kita bersama boleh belajar brsabar dan elakkan pertelingkahan yang tidak mengutungkan mane2 pihak....

Hurm...

aku rindukan kau meem.... rindu saat2 bertahun dulu... saat kau dan aku bile kite sahabat.... saat2 bile kau dan aku sering berdebat.... berbual tentang apa je... bercerita masalah.. ketawa... dan bergembira... kenape kau pergi meem? salah aku ke waktu tu... niat aku cuma nak membantu... bukan kau x kenal macammane perangai aku dengan kawan2 aku.... tapi die pulak yang dalam bilik tu.... sumpah aku tak tau...

antara kite berempat... kau yng paling aku hargai.... sebab kau the best of my best friends... sampai sekarang aku rase kehilngan... rase kesedihan... apebila aku hanya mampu melihat kau dari jauh atau berselisih tapi tidak bertegur.... aku cuba meem.. bukn aku x cuba.... if aku benci kau.. xdenya pun aku sibuk tanya pasal kau kat yana ngan nadt.... sebab aku masih kisah... sebab aku x pernah anggap kite musuh.... aku x pernah salahkan kau walau pasal makian kau yg agak mendalam dan mampu menitisan air mata tu... sebab aku kenal kau lebih dari tu.... sebab aku sayangkan ape yang kite berempat ade.... persahabatan....

agak kesian jugak bile yana jadi orang tengah.... aku sentiasa adil dengan korang semua.... xde lebih xde kurang... sbb aku sayang 'kite' .... lebih dari persahabatan yang kite ade... aku cuma nak mcam dulu.... tapi aku tau tu semua seperti sukar untuk berlaku bile dah berpecah kite...
aku cuma nak kau tau.... kau kawan yang aku hargai sebab kau adelah kau....

Im getting close.... i think i already know who you are....

you leave a trail of yourself.... the dumbest think that you ever did... I think i know who you are... you're not exactly my batch.... now that is not that hard to narrow down too...
is so then i have your secret... so you better watch out...

leave sherna... yana.. and everybody else alone... or you'll get what you're getting for....

seriously... i hate to make enemies... because i hate myself for doing things to my enemies... and leave them traumatizes... I'm a Lover not a fighter... so don't force me to fight... because i will not loose...

your the little fat bicth miss Anonymous...

what annoys me is u.... being a bitch is fine under some circumstances... but you're way off...
you give bitches a bad name....

don't pretend that you've hurt a lot and expect other people not to understand what you're going thru and as if you're the only one that has suffered... well not yet... you haven't... i still haven't caught you yet... then you'll understand the real meaning of suffering....

fuck off of sherna.... if you have something to say... and not satisfy with me... tell me to my face if you're brave enough instead of hiding under the name anonymous....

searching for you anonymous bitch