i'm i too desperate for love? that i can't seem to let you go...
i use to say if you love someone then let her go.... if she comes back to you then she's yours...
but i'm too scared to let go...
to scared that you might not come back.... you said it yourself that you wouldn't come back if you leave...
just the thought of that makes me hard to sleep at night.... and yes... you're what i'm thinking about before i close my eyes to sleep....
and i will wake up tomorrow feeling the luckiest guy alive to have been loved by you....
i know that you feel insecure because i don't easily fall in love with beautiful girls... so it will mean that i could fall in loved with just anyone.... but i do look for beauty my dear.... but the part that i fine most beautiful is the heart....
but you're more then that... you are beautiful and have a beautiful heart.... you're the greatest give that God have given me....
Wednesday
it seems like nothing is going right...
a simple honest mistake of a friend made me feeling very miserable....
if i look back and think about what had happen.... its been several similar cases... little thing leads to a big fight....
one by one it comes... what does it means? does it trying to say we're not meant for each other... and we're not destine for each other and this relationship that we have will lead to nothing buy heart ache and misery?
I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT !!!!
to me its all is just a test.... to see how strong our love for each other is...
i believe that if i stay true our love will last...
i love her just so much.... she's what i've been waiting for... please God... don't take away the most precious give that you've gave me...
i give everything for her...
is it because that she's far better then me.... i know she is... but i never taken advantage of her... i try to give her the best...
to pleased her in every way..
but it all seems that what i've done is never enough...
she completes me... i every way possible.. i hope that i completes her too...
i just never felt a love like this before...
it makes me weak.. very weak... but as long as i have her.. i feel strong...
i miss that time... the time where things are always great...
its great now... but i hate all the fights....
please God... help me to understand her better...
a simple honest mistake of a friend made me feeling very miserable....
if i look back and think about what had happen.... its been several similar cases... little thing leads to a big fight....
one by one it comes... what does it means? does it trying to say we're not meant for each other... and we're not destine for each other and this relationship that we have will lead to nothing buy heart ache and misery?
I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT !!!!
to me its all is just a test.... to see how strong our love for each other is...
i believe that if i stay true our love will last...
i love her just so much.... she's what i've been waiting for... please God... don't take away the most precious give that you've gave me...
i give everything for her...
is it because that she's far better then me.... i know she is... but i never taken advantage of her... i try to give her the best...
to pleased her in every way..
but it all seems that what i've done is never enough...
she completes me... i every way possible.. i hope that i completes her too...
i just never felt a love like this before...
it makes me weak.. very weak... but as long as i have her.. i feel strong...
i miss that time... the time where things are always great...
its great now... but i hate all the fights....
please God... help me to understand her better...
Monday
WARNING!!! WOMAN INVATION
by writing this post I don't know what will the reaction would be from the opposite gender but still I'm writing this post for all male out there...
few days ago i had the chance to talk to a friend of mind... she studies art & social science...
I've always hear about it but never really know what do people study for that subject...
she took sociology anthropology as her major subject, u learn everything bout humans, society, people what contribute to their manner, what they think n act etc.
her minor subject is gender studies she learns bout relationship between male n female the discrimination between them problems faced by male n female etc...
this is where i think the statement " what men can do... we women can do too"
that statement is not relevant at all... women use this statement when they felt treated or when they felt that their womanhood is at stake.... they just use this statement expecting all girls to stand up to men as their equal... that to me is just bullshit...
because they'll complain when they are push in the LRT or while quing up for the bus, or standing up in a public transportaion.... and nag about to to their friends all day long or all year round... do you ever hear us guys complain about that stuff?
when the women are loosing to men and that statement can't be use... they'll use other statement such as ' ladies first' or ' we woman aren't strong like men' expecting simphthy from men....
Woman are very proud to see their numbers increasing in the local university or abroad... claming that they are the smarter race... but all that can be achieve because they use such statement that i stated above...
looking in the situation in the local university.. where the woman collages are always three times more then the men's... in segamat you can see that there are 7 woman collages and only 2 man collages... the other man have to live outside... because us man have to give way to woman to stay inside... since they are the weeker species....
if woman want the equal rights like us man.. then give and treat us the same... but that can't happend... women can use their sex apeal to get over man, or use it as an excuse for sexual harrasment when they feel like it...
woman are invating earth... why worry about the martians on mars that clearly is happy staying there... think about it... i could give you more example... but i think that this is enough for now...
maybe my next post i'll elabrate more on it
few days ago i had the chance to talk to a friend of mind... she studies art & social science...
I've always hear about it but never really know what do people study for that subject...
she took sociology anthropology as her major subject, u learn everything bout humans, society, people what contribute to their manner, what they think n act etc.
her minor subject is gender studies she learns bout relationship between male n female the discrimination between them problems faced by male n female etc...
this is where i think the statement " what men can do... we women can do too"
that statement is not relevant at all... women use this statement when they felt treated or when they felt that their womanhood is at stake.... they just use this statement expecting all girls to stand up to men as their equal... that to me is just bullshit...
because they'll complain when they are push in the LRT or while quing up for the bus, or standing up in a public transportaion.... and nag about to to their friends all day long or all year round... do you ever hear us guys complain about that stuff?
when the women are loosing to men and that statement can't be use... they'll use other statement such as ' ladies first' or ' we woman aren't strong like men' expecting simphthy from men....
Woman are very proud to see their numbers increasing in the local university or abroad... claming that they are the smarter race... but all that can be achieve because they use such statement that i stated above...
looking in the situation in the local university.. where the woman collages are always three times more then the men's... in segamat you can see that there are 7 woman collages and only 2 man collages... the other man have to live outside... because us man have to give way to woman to stay inside... since they are the weeker species....
if woman want the equal rights like us man.. then give and treat us the same... but that can't happend... women can use their sex apeal to get over man, or use it as an excuse for sexual harrasment when they feel like it...
woman are invating earth... why worry about the martians on mars that clearly is happy staying there... think about it... i could give you more example... but i think that this is enough for now...
maybe my next post i'll elabrate more on it
Tagged again
1. What is the relationship of you and him/her?-
she's my cute and adorable girlfriend
2. Your 5 impressions towards him/her.-
i) loveable
ii) adorable
iii) sensetive
iv) carring and loving
v) Jelousy is her name in other language
3. The most memorable things he/she had done for you?-
coming from her room with ted to give me a vanilla coke and wishing me good luck before my speech
4. The most memorable things he/she have said to you?
"bf saye kene blajar rerajin.. die kene belikan saye rumah besar, kereta besar, dan ade orang gaji sexy"
5. If he/she become your lover, you will..-
she already is... and I thank God for that
6. If he/she become your enemy, you will..-
so will Ted?
7. If he/she become your lover, he/she has to improve on...-
she's proven enough i think
8. If he/she become your enemy, the reason is...-
joining forces together with yaya to buli my presious Ted
9. The most desirable thing to do on him/her is?-
Kiss her when she lease expected
10. The overall impression of him/her is...-
She's nice, pretty and smart...
11. How do you think the people around you will feel about you?-
i dont care...
12. The character of you for yourself is?-
full of characters then an actor
13. On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is?-
the monster inside of me
14. The most person that you wanna be is?-
me without my characters
15. For the people who care about and likes you, say something about them.-
your love has kept me alive
she's my cute and adorable girlfriend
2. Your 5 impressions towards him/her.-
i) loveable
ii) adorable
iii) sensetive
iv) carring and loving
v) Jelousy is her name in other language
3. The most memorable things he/she had done for you?-
coming from her room with ted to give me a vanilla coke and wishing me good luck before my speech
4. The most memorable things he/she have said to you?
"bf saye kene blajar rerajin.. die kene belikan saye rumah besar, kereta besar, dan ade orang gaji sexy"
5. If he/she become your lover, you will..-
she already is... and I thank God for that
6. If he/she become your enemy, you will..-
so will Ted?
7. If he/she become your lover, he/she has to improve on...-
she's proven enough i think
8. If he/she become your enemy, the reason is...-
joining forces together with yaya to buli my presious Ted
9. The most desirable thing to do on him/her is?-
Kiss her when she lease expected
10. The overall impression of him/her is...-
She's nice, pretty and smart...
11. How do you think the people around you will feel about you?-
i dont care...
12. The character of you for yourself is?-
full of characters then an actor
13. On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is?-
the monster inside of me
14. The most person that you wanna be is?-
me without my characters
15. For the people who care about and likes you, say something about them.-
your love has kept me alive
Thursday
KARISMA 08 PERAK DARUL RIDZUAN
The boys and girls UiTM Johor Hockey Teamwell... I wanted to elaborate more on the team.... but I choose not to....
all i can say is, we have young talent... and the are great... this is their first karisma and I hope that they achieve something before their last karisma... I'm leaving the sport.... so good luck to you guys....
Gloria's soulmate
Just in case that you guys don't know who Gloria is.... you'd better watch Madagascar... then you'll know who she is and what I'm talking about.... this picture may cause some disturbance to the naked eye.... so viewers please be advice.... VIEW WITH YOUR OWN RISK!!!
The beach is always beautiful....
Its been a while since i've posted anything.... Been busy.... after i finish my final paper on the 18th... I only had 1 day to spent in jb before going back to campus for trainning camp... all together it took about 2 weeks untill i could sattle down and do other stuff that i had been wanting to do...
I've been looking at pictures when i was in Perak... and been wondering which to post first.... so i choose the one that gave me the most happies thought first.... Teluk Batik.... these are picture of the beautiful beach of Teluk Batik.... God its beautiful.... the water was as blue as the sky....
I went there with the whole Johor contingen... back at Sri Iskandar my friends ask if i wanted to take a swim when we reach there... but i said that its been a while since I swin in the ocean... about 3 or 4 years... even that my late grandpa's house is very near to the ocean I didn't even bother.... but when i reach there... I just can't help myself....
Its the first time since 3 or 4 years since I took a swim in the ocean.... and that day... I swim like a free dolphine.... it was so great... the place was so beautiful that i decided to come again the next day and take another dip in the sea....
Wednesday
i think i lost it...
I'm i just playin' it dumb.... or being modest???
to let it all just happened in front of my eyes and do nothing about it...
even that i have the power to do so....
whats wrong with me???
has affection took control of me or is it fear of losing whats precious and being alone?
my mind is on a trance...
i think i lost it...
to let it all just happened in front of my eyes and do nothing about it...
even that i have the power to do so....
whats wrong with me???
has affection took control of me or is it fear of losing whats precious and being alone?
my mind is on a trance...
i think i lost it...
Tuesday
I'm so proud of her...
should i be or shouldn't i be mad...
when the one you love text you and call you to tell about someone else... telling you that she's concern about him... can't bare to see him that way...
even that i woke up this morning... the first text message that i receive was from her... not a morning kiss... but her concern about her friend...
isn't she so nice... and kind heart ed...
she's a true friend... willing to go a million miles to help a friend....
I'm so proud of her... really I am
when the one you love text you and call you to tell about someone else... telling you that she's concern about him... can't bare to see him that way...
even that i woke up this morning... the first text message that i receive was from her... not a morning kiss... but her concern about her friend...
isn't she so nice... and kind heart ed...
she's a true friend... willing to go a million miles to help a friend....
I'm so proud of her... really I am
Thursday
Maturity is in the state of mind...
mature and immature...
What characteristics defines it???...How could a person be define as matured...
Maturity has always been link with responsibility... if someone is responsible and knows his responsibility... does it mean that the person is already matured?... or does maturity has somethhing to do with age???
The older your get the.. the waiser you'll be... I guest that there is some logic to the statement that maturity comes with age... because age goes with time... over a particular period of time... many situations had been faced in life.. many decisions, many actions, had been taken to overcome a problem.. or to achive certain goal in life.... it doesn't matter is the decisions or actions taken is wrong...
but I wouldn't agree a 100% on the statement... because i've seen and mingle with people older then me... much older... and i can see that they can be childish at times... and for some... they are childish all the time... even so.. they still know their responsibility to themselves and their families... so does being childish considered as immature???
what exactly defined us as being mature and immature? I don't know about you... but to me... people will reach their maturity state... when the time comes... it doesn;t need someone to be older... life experiance can make someone mature faster then their age... and older people are matured.. but they sometimes chose to be childish and immature just to run away from the hustle and tustle of responsibility...
When the time comes... and they are strong enough to take on the responsibility... they'll get back to be matured individuals....
So my conclusion would be maturity is in the state of mind...
What characteristics defines it???...How could a person be define as matured...
Maturity has always been link with responsibility... if someone is responsible and knows his responsibility... does it mean that the person is already matured?... or does maturity has somethhing to do with age???
The older your get the.. the waiser you'll be... I guest that there is some logic to the statement that maturity comes with age... because age goes with time... over a particular period of time... many situations had been faced in life.. many decisions, many actions, had been taken to overcome a problem.. or to achive certain goal in life.... it doesn't matter is the decisions or actions taken is wrong...
but I wouldn't agree a 100% on the statement... because i've seen and mingle with people older then me... much older... and i can see that they can be childish at times... and for some... they are childish all the time... even so.. they still know their responsibility to themselves and their families... so does being childish considered as immature???
what exactly defined us as being mature and immature? I don't know about you... but to me... people will reach their maturity state... when the time comes... it doesn;t need someone to be older... life experiance can make someone mature faster then their age... and older people are matured.. but they sometimes chose to be childish and immature just to run away from the hustle and tustle of responsibility...
When the time comes... and they are strong enough to take on the responsibility... they'll get back to be matured individuals....
So my conclusion would be maturity is in the state of mind...
Tagged by her...
1. What are you wearing?
orange tshirt and short..
2. What did you do last night?
online n ym-ing with my boyfriend??.. huhuhu...
3. Favorite Memory with significant other?
Being hug in Danga Bay
4. Last gift received?
A converse shoe
5. Describe the last picture you were in?
picture of me and friends celebrating a friend's birthday...
6. Last thing you ate?
Mc D shaker fries...
7. Last thing you drank?
Coke
8. What kind of underwear are you wearing?
what pervert question ( miang)
9. What was your best vacation?
Melaka
10. What are you most looking forward to in the next vacation?
Hur,... if there is a next time...
11. What is happening around you?
People screaming while playing on9 games... crazy fuckers
12. What is your shoe size?
8 1/2
13. Last event you dressed up for?
Graduation Night Dinner... Baju melayu and songket
14. What is the most cheap thing you bought?
pocket knife
15. What is the most expensive thing you have on right now?
my glasses ( sherna gave it to me)
16. What is your favorite smell?
Ted...
17. Is there something you really want to buy right now?
hurm.... don'y think so...
18. What are your nicknames?
Shah, Rilril, Nizam, Zouk, Zoukriman, Zoukrudin and mostly i can't remember....
19. What are your plans for today?
Studying finance and account... and hopping for Miss Cokelat to cool down...
20. Describe your friendster picture.
picture of myself...
21. Describe your myspace picture.
me and my boyfriend?... (Girlfriend la.. )
22. Describe your facebook picture.
i dont have one..
23. What did you do last weekend?
last week?? hurm... either sleeping or studying...
24. Favorite brand of clothes?
Sports- Adidas, Nike
Casual- Converse, Seed,
25. What is your ringtone?
Silly Lilly- Bunk Face
orange tshirt and short..
2. What did you do last night?
online n ym-ing with my boyfriend??.. huhuhu...
3. Favorite Memory with significant other?
Being hug in Danga Bay
4. Last gift received?
A converse shoe
5. Describe the last picture you were in?
picture of me and friends celebrating a friend's birthday...
6. Last thing you ate?
Mc D shaker fries...
7. Last thing you drank?
Coke
8. What kind of underwear are you wearing?
what pervert question ( miang)
9. What was your best vacation?
Melaka
10. What are you most looking forward to in the next vacation?
Hur,... if there is a next time...
11. What is happening around you?
People screaming while playing on9 games... crazy fuckers
12. What is your shoe size?
8 1/2
13. Last event you dressed up for?
Graduation Night Dinner... Baju melayu and songket
14. What is the most cheap thing you bought?
pocket knife
15. What is the most expensive thing you have on right now?
my glasses ( sherna gave it to me)
16. What is your favorite smell?
Ted...
17. Is there something you really want to buy right now?
hurm.... don'y think so...
18. What are your nicknames?
Shah, Rilril, Nizam, Zouk, Zoukriman, Zoukrudin and mostly i can't remember....
19. What are your plans for today?
Studying finance and account... and hopping for Miss Cokelat to cool down...
20. Describe your friendster picture.
picture of myself...
21. Describe your myspace picture.
me and my boyfriend?... (Girlfriend la.. )
22. Describe your facebook picture.
i dont have one..
23. What did you do last weekend?
last week?? hurm... either sleeping or studying...
24. Favorite brand of clothes?
Sports- Adidas, Nike
Casual- Converse, Seed,
25. What is your ringtone?
Silly Lilly- Bunk Face
Got it from Fharina....
JUN
* Berfikiran jauh & berwawasan.
* Mudah ditawan kerana sikap baik.
* Berperangai lemah lembut.
* Mudah berubah sikap, perangai, idea dan mood.
* Idea yang terlalu banyak di kepala.
* Bersikap sensitif.
* Mempunyai pemikiran yang aktif (sentiasa berfikir).
* Sukar melakukan sesuatu dengan segera.
* Bersikap suka menangguh-nangguh.
* Bersikap terlalu memilih & mahukan yang terbaik.
* Cepat marah & cepat sejuk.
* Suka bercakap & berdebat.
* Suka buat lawak & bergurau.
* Otaknya cerdas berangan-angan.
* Mudah berkawan & pandai berkawan.
* Orang yang sangat tertib.
* Pandai mempamerkan sikap.
* Mudah kecil hati.
* Mudah kena selsema.
* Suka berkemas.
* Cepat rasa bosan.
* Sikap terlalu memilih & cerewet.
* Kurang mempamerkan perasaan.
* Lambat untuk sembuh apabila terluka hati.
* Suka pada barang yang berjenama.
* Mudah menjadi eksekutif.
* Kedegilan yang tidak terkawal.
* Sesiapa yang memuji, dianggap musuh. Siapa yang menegur dianggap kawan.
*Green means YES
*Red means NO
* Berfikiran jauh & berwawasan.
* Mudah ditawan kerana sikap baik.
* Berperangai lemah lembut.
* Mudah berubah sikap, perangai, idea dan mood.
* Idea yang terlalu banyak di kepala.
* Bersikap sensitif.
* Mempunyai pemikiran yang aktif (sentiasa berfikir).
* Sukar melakukan sesuatu dengan segera.
* Bersikap suka menangguh-nangguh.
* Bersikap terlalu memilih & mahukan yang terbaik.
* Cepat marah & cepat sejuk.
* Suka bercakap & berdebat.
* Suka buat lawak & bergurau.
* Otaknya cerdas berangan-angan.
* Mudah berkawan & pandai berkawan.
* Orang yang sangat tertib.
* Pandai mempamerkan sikap.
* Mudah kecil hati.
* Mudah kena selsema.
* Suka berkemas.
* Cepat rasa bosan.
* Sikap terlalu memilih & cerewet.
* Kurang mempamerkan perasaan.
* Lambat untuk sembuh apabila terluka hati.
* Suka pada barang yang berjenama.
* Mudah menjadi eksekutif.
* Kedegilan yang tidak terkawal.
* Sesiapa yang memuji, dianggap musuh. Siapa yang menegur dianggap kawan.
*Green means YES
*Red means NO
Tuesday
It's not the end.. it's a start of something new...
few days back... I had dreamed of weird situations... I dreamt about my three best friends... most of it are about recent events that we've been thru together... maybe i kept thinking about all the things we've done together since the beginning of our friendship... a lot had changed this past three years... i even lost one of them... I'm sad that it had to end up this way... and keep thinking where did I go wrong...
maybe its fate... since fate brought us together in the first place... i guest it took us a part too... I'm going to miss you guys... a lot then words could ever been said or written... thanks for every smile, every loughter,every tears, every single thing... that make this three years of us here an unforgatble memory...
from the bottom of my heart... I would like to state my spology for every single thing i did wrong... I love you guys.. you're family to me.. my only hope is that this isn't the end of our friendship... but a start of a newchapter in our lives...
I pray for your success and happiness in life... best of luck in persuing your dreams... and always remember that I'll support you in anything that you do... I'm always here as a friend if you ever need anything...
maybe its fate... since fate brought us together in the first place... i guest it took us a part too... I'm going to miss you guys... a lot then words could ever been said or written... thanks for every smile, every loughter,every tears, every single thing... that make this three years of us here an unforgatble memory...
from the bottom of my heart... I would like to state my spology for every single thing i did wrong... I love you guys.. you're family to me.. my only hope is that this isn't the end of our friendship... but a start of a newchapter in our lives...
I pray for your success and happiness in life... best of luck in persuing your dreams... and always remember that I'll support you in anything that you do... I'm always here as a friend if you ever need anything...
Monday
Is it so weird???
Tagged by Shareena* State 15 weird things/ habits/ little known facts about yourself.* The 10 people I tag are to then to follow my footsteps and write their own 15 weird things/habits and little known facts.
1. I can sleep up to 18 hours a day...
2. I love to collect weird items...
3. I'm 21 but I have 5 bears...
4. I love stars...
5. Love anything to do with hockey...
6. I hate backstabbers, liars, hipocrits, but most of my friends are....
7. Hate driving in Traffic jams but always use the same way even there are many alternative roads...
8. I'm addicted to Mafia Wars
9. I love reading people.. and their thoughts...
10. I love to play playstation untill 6 in the morning...
11. I love driving late at night...
12. I eat a lot even that I'm thin...
13. I suddently woke up late at night when I'm hungry... and cook what ever is there in the kitchen...
14. Love cooking...
15. Hate that people don't wash up the dishes after eating... but I', lazy as well....
People I tagged:
Miss Fa
Kiki
Cik Aqie
Cik Jenab
Mr CB
Cik Dewi
1. I can sleep up to 18 hours a day...
2. I love to collect weird items...
3. I'm 21 but I have 5 bears...
4. I love stars...
5. Love anything to do with hockey...
6. I hate backstabbers, liars, hipocrits, but most of my friends are....
7. Hate driving in Traffic jams but always use the same way even there are many alternative roads...
8. I'm addicted to Mafia Wars
9. I love reading people.. and their thoughts...
10. I love to play playstation untill 6 in the morning...
11. I love driving late at night...
12. I eat a lot even that I'm thin...
13. I suddently woke up late at night when I'm hungry... and cook what ever is there in the kitchen...
14. Love cooking...
15. Hate that people don't wash up the dishes after eating... but I', lazy as well....
People I tagged:
Miss Fa
Kiki
Cik Aqie
Cik Jenab
Mr CB
Cik Dewi
Letters of disgust over you...
Just because of one misunderstanding... u wasted 3 years of our friendship... what the fuck is wrong with you? If he makes you happy... then I'm glad for you... I'm happy that you've found your happiness... since the beginning of your relationship... when everyone appose even your own sister... I stand up for you and this is what I get??? then thanks for the going away present...
I never hated him... even he was the one that spread bad rumors about me since part 1... But I hate him now because i loose you... one of my best friend... not only loose you.. but he made you turn against me... FUCK him... I wouldn't be so friendly to him and make everything he had done to me just slide away this time....
for awhile I let it slide... out of my respect for you.. but not now... people like him doesn't deserve my respect... no wonder everyone often talk and make fun of him... since part 1 until now.. tell me how many friends he had made... not even a full fingers on one hand... more enemies then America i would say...
I had enough of this... I can't tolerate his fucking attitude no more... his putting word around that his looking for a fight with me... I'm waiting... and I tell you one thing... after it's done... you'll hate me for the rest of your life...
but guest what bitch...
I DON"T FUCKING CARE!!!!
I never hated him... even he was the one that spread bad rumors about me since part 1... But I hate him now because i loose you... one of my best friend... not only loose you.. but he made you turn against me... FUCK him... I wouldn't be so friendly to him and make everything he had done to me just slide away this time....
for awhile I let it slide... out of my respect for you.. but not now... people like him doesn't deserve my respect... no wonder everyone often talk and make fun of him... since part 1 until now.. tell me how many friends he had made... not even a full fingers on one hand... more enemies then America i would say...
I had enough of this... I can't tolerate his fucking attitude no more... his putting word around that his looking for a fight with me... I'm waiting... and I tell you one thing... after it's done... you'll hate me for the rest of your life...
but guest what bitch...
I DON"T FUCKING CARE!!!!
Wednesday
Its not an excuse... Its the answer why...
to friends that were close to me... I'm sorry for not able to be there for you guys as often as i could like before... it doesn't mean that i forgot about you guys or that i now careless about you guys... its just that I've committed myself to something more meaningful to me... this statement doesn't mean that you guys now are meaning less... you guys still mean something to me... just as important...
I know that you can't reach me 24hours a day anymore since the time I've allocated for you guys are much.. much less now... but I'm still here to help in anyway that i could.. and that fact hasn't change at all...
you see, from all this time helping you guys to pursue your happiness... living a happy ending story... and maintaining that happiness.. is such a joy to me... its never a burden... please don't say that... a friend to me are forever...
Its just that... from my experience... seeing you guys happy with your love ones had manage to break the ice in my heart... and deep inside I'm trying to find the love that I've helped you guys get for yourselves...
and one day.. a glimmer of hope appear... I took that chance in pursue of my own happiness... and i hope that you guys can so much be understanding and wish that i can keep this happiness that I wanted for so long...
I know that you can't reach me 24hours a day anymore since the time I've allocated for you guys are much.. much less now... but I'm still here to help in anyway that i could.. and that fact hasn't change at all...
you see, from all this time helping you guys to pursue your happiness... living a happy ending story... and maintaining that happiness.. is such a joy to me... its never a burden... please don't say that... a friend to me are forever...
Its just that... from my experience... seeing you guys happy with your love ones had manage to break the ice in my heart... and deep inside I'm trying to find the love that I've helped you guys get for yourselves...
and one day.. a glimmer of hope appear... I took that chance in pursue of my own happiness... and i hope that you guys can so much be understanding and wish that i can keep this happiness that I wanted for so long...
Friday
Like Only a Woman Can
I wasn't perfect...
I done a lot of stupid things...
Still no angel...
I wasn't looking for forgiveness...
was lead up by my pride..
Shock by her intention...
So she show me how to love...
I didn't want it...
But now i can't live without it...
She change my life... She cleans me up...
She found my heart... Like only a woman can...
She pulls me up, when she knows I'm sad..
She knows her man, like only a woman can...
She's kind of perfect..
She's kind of everything I'm not...
Yes, She's an angel...
And its amazing how's she's patient...
Even more at times I'm not...
She's my concision...
And who decided I'll be her's...
I want to hate them..
Cause i can't live without her...
She change my life... She cleans me up...
She found my heart... Like only a woman can...
She pulls me up, when she knows I'm sad..
She knows her man, like only a woman can...
*Dedicated song for Miss Cokelat...
Like Only a Woman Can
Brian McFadden
Thursday
Your results:
You are Batman
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test
You are Batman
| You are dark, love gadgets and have vowed to help the innocent not suffer the pain you have endured.  |
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test
2 Weeks Comfirmed.....
When you're already being hate... nothing that you do is to the liking...
I tell you that I only have you... Your my Girlfriend...
I don't text other girls... I don't call other girls... Just my classmate to ask them about class... and once a year from Intan.... not everyday...
I don't text other girl while messaging you or during calls...
U said that I don't understand...
I can't do shit to prove to you that You're the only one....
You keep accusing me of having an affair... just because your jealous... but i understand tha feeling you had is because you love me...
but when i get jealous of you over some other guys... you get mad at me....
now... everything i do is not perfect...
now what i do is not understanding you...
I guest its true then...
when you're hated... nothing you do could be right... even if you tried the very best...
2 weeks right... that is what u asked from me... then I'll give it...
for you.... since even from the beginning... everything has been for you...
i know people are laughing at me because of all this... but fuck you all... I'll do everything to keep her... If you want her.. come and kill me first....
I tell you that I only have you... Your my Girlfriend...
I don't text other girls... I don't call other girls... Just my classmate to ask them about class... and once a year from Intan.... not everyday...
I don't text other girl while messaging you or during calls...
U said that I don't understand...
I can't do shit to prove to you that You're the only one....
You keep accusing me of having an affair... just because your jealous... but i understand tha feeling you had is because you love me...
but when i get jealous of you over some other guys... you get mad at me....
now... everything i do is not perfect...
now what i do is not understanding you...
I guest its true then...
when you're hated... nothing you do could be right... even if you tried the very best...
2 weeks right... that is what u asked from me... then I'll give it...
for you.... since even from the beginning... everything has been for you...
i know people are laughing at me because of all this... but fuck you all... I'll do everything to keep her... If you want her.. come and kill me first....
A peace that I've been serching for...
After so many years after our childhood... I finally made peace with my brother... what great time for it to be... during hari raya... lucky for me... if not.. i wouldn't receive 'duit raya' from him... RM50... thanks bro... its the first time he ever gave me duit raya... maybe that sum of RM50 is a pending amount... or in accounting term.. accruals... for all the years he didn't gave me...
I even took a ride in his car for the first time since he bought it... well there is still some communication errors between us that need to be sort out... He's exactly the opposite of me... He's silent, passive in sports, less aggressive... every that you see in me... my brother is the direct opposite...
we were close to each other growing up... but as we grew... our relationship grew further and further away... and now as we get older.. i hope that bond between us grow stronger and stronger just like when we were kids... or even better...
Selamat Hari Raya Along...
Maaf Zahir & Batin...
A Gift
The last gift that i remembered receiving was a cd player from my mom on my 15th birthday... I still have it.. its just that it hasn't been turn on for quite some time... I don't get much gifts... so i could remember almost everything anyone ever gave me...
Among the items that i ever received in my life are:
Alarm Clock
T-Shirt
Shirt
Tie
risk Watch
Cd player
and the latest one... a pair of converse shoe... I never thought of shoe as a gift.. but its the most special gift i ever had... and you must know why its so special to me...
Its because its a gift from miss cokelat... and its brown in colour ( my favorite colour ) Thanks for it sayang... i'll wear it with pride... because you bought it for me...
ted lives it too...
Someone Just shoot me now...
Things just get worse by the minute... even after some glittering light seems to shine yesterday...
just applying the concept of being at the wrong place at the wrong time... or in my case.. taking my stuff back without checking what's inside n giving it to the person whom i thought was right... but end up being wrong... DAMN YOU PEK JOL...
Then again.. it still is my fault... love is a lesson.. but it is never meant to be understood... but to be felt... you learn lots of stuff about love by feeling it... but not by understanding it...
even if it's so hard sometimes... it's better to spent the rest of my life with the one i love... then spending it with someone i don't...
I'll keep on being patient... keep on doing what ever it takes to hold on to this love.... even if it took my entire life...
because i had never known another love like this...
sorry for not being perfect for you... for having flaws...
sorry for being me... I wish to you could always be happy with me...
just applying the concept of being at the wrong place at the wrong time... or in my case.. taking my stuff back without checking what's inside n giving it to the person whom i thought was right... but end up being wrong... DAMN YOU PEK JOL...
Then again.. it still is my fault... love is a lesson.. but it is never meant to be understood... but to be felt... you learn lots of stuff about love by feeling it... but not by understanding it...
even if it's so hard sometimes... it's better to spent the rest of my life with the one i love... then spending it with someone i don't...
I'll keep on being patient... keep on doing what ever it takes to hold on to this love.... even if it took my entire life...
because i had never known another love like this...
sorry for not being perfect for you... for having flaws...
sorry for being me... I wish to you could always be happy with me...
Tuesday
Days in counting.....
She said to be another 13 days...
will i survive it???
i hope i will..
I love you so much.. not even i single word exist to express my love for you...
will i survive it???
i hope i will..
I love you so much.. not even i single word exist to express my love for you...
I got lots to say...
buy first I'm sorry for treated you that way...
and made you went astray...
I know it's not yet been a day...
But dear, I want you in my arms right away...
If time is what you demand from me..
Then it's time that I will give...
I want to spent it with you
thinking of you...
being with you...
dreaming of you...
Lots that i want to say..
but i;m afraid that you would grow further away...
so I sat silent for today...
and say what i need to say another day...
buy first I'm sorry for treated you that way...
and made you went astray...
I know it's not yet been a day...
But dear, I want you in my arms right away...
If time is what you demand from me..
Then it's time that I will give...
I want to spent it with you
thinking of you...
being with you...
dreaming of you...
Lots that i want to say..
but i;m afraid that you would grow further away...
so I sat silent for today...
and say what i need to say another day...
1st Day of 2weeks without her
Have you ever woke up one day and felt like your life is empty???
That is what i felt when i woke up today... I can't contact with her for 2 weeks...
it's a game in which the motive isn't very clear to me... it's not even a day yet...but i felt this much misery and suffering... but i respect her decision...
Woke up today and seems like my life is on a pause for two weeks... i kept thinking either what had been agreed last night was a dream or did it really happen...
A long the way to class... i kept thinking of her... more then i did on a regular basis... and even now I'm still wondering..
has she eaten...
did she woke up early to go to class...
did she sleep well last night...
is everything okey with her today...
I know its had just been a few hours since i heard from her last... and its quite pathetic to think of all of those things...
but my heart is missing something...
it's missing it's reason to bit...
wish that i could close my eye's now... and when i open it.. it would already be 2weeks...
That is what i felt when i woke up today... I can't contact with her for 2 weeks...
it's a game in which the motive isn't very clear to me... it's not even a day yet...but i felt this much misery and suffering... but i respect her decision...
Woke up today and seems like my life is on a pause for two weeks... i kept thinking either what had been agreed last night was a dream or did it really happen...
A long the way to class... i kept thinking of her... more then i did on a regular basis... and even now I'm still wondering..
has she eaten...
did she woke up early to go to class...
did she sleep well last night...
is everything okey with her today...
I know its had just been a few hours since i heard from her last... and its quite pathetic to think of all of those things...
but my heart is missing something...
it's missing it's reason to bit...
wish that i could close my eye's now... and when i open it.. it would already be 2weeks...
Sunday
my favourite cokelat
My favorite chocolate.. my miss chocolate...
The one that keeps me smiling thru the day.. even sometime just for no reason...
Thinking for you. brings me happiness and lots of joy... each time we meet.. i wish that time would pause or it will never end... and if it ends... I'll wait for another time so i can see u again.. feel you in my arms... and kiss you with lots of love...
I'm sorry for not understanding... I thought that i did.. but u showed me clearly that i don't...
I love you with all my heart...
I'm yours my dear shareena...
The one that keeps me smiling thru the day.. even sometime just for no reason...
Thinking for you. brings me happiness and lots of joy... each time we meet.. i wish that time would pause or it will never end... and if it ends... I'll wait for another time so i can see u again.. feel you in my arms... and kiss you with lots of love...
I'm sorry for not understanding... I thought that i did.. but u showed me clearly that i don't...
I love you with all my heart...
I'm yours my dear shareena...
Words for thought
people are often unreasonable, illogical, and self centered. forgive them anyway... if u r kind, people may accuse u of selfish, ulterior motive. be kind anyway... if u r successful, u will win some false frenz and some true frenz. succeed anyway... if u r honest n frank, people may cheat u. be honest & frank anyway... if u find serenity, n happiness, people may be jealous, be happy anyway... the good u do today, people will often forget tomorrow. do good anyway... u see, in the final analysis, it is between u n god. it was never between u n them anyway... -mother Theresa-
In this words I find some peace for things that had happend in my life recently...
In this words I find some peace for things that had happend in my life recently...
Saturday
A Guy, A Girl and A Llittle Bear (5)
He surprise me yet again... I was in my room playing my play station... and Ted sat beside me watching me play... he wanted to play... but he always looses... so he just sat beside me cheering for the other team that play against me... Ted loves watching me loose... because he can't manage to win against me...
Then it happen... I was playing winning 11 at the time... and the opposing team manage to score against me... Ted scream in jubilant and was glad... "Yeeaayy..." he was happy and all of a sudden he started dancing... I was surprise that Ted could dance... from then on... Ted would loved to dance whenever I put on some music on... a pretty good dancer Ted is...
Over the years... I found out new things about Ted... he loves to dance, play games on the computers and my play station and I recently discovered that Ted loves folding cloths... He said that Mum teaches him how to fold clothes... so now, when ever I'm going back to campus... Ted would help me pack my stuff...
"Aril, when are you coming back? I miss you... there still many things we haven't done together yet". Ted asked me when I was getting ready to go back to campus after my semester break is over. I rarely come back for the weekend... its far... yet i miss Ted too... "Maybe I come back during the weekend Ted, then we can finish all the stuff that we haven't done yet" Just to calm Ted, I made a promise to come back whenever I could. Campus life is such a hectic life... always busy with test, exams, quizzes and others stupid activities...
I hug Ted... Give him a kiss and off to the bus station... I hate living Ted... but he's one of the reason that I would think of to come back home...
To be continue...
A Guy, A Girl and A Little Bear ( 4 )
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The choice of bringing Ted home was the right one… I guest it is really fate that brought us together… Ted is a very good friend and a great listener… He often listens to my problems… and I always feel better after I told Ted about my problems… its something about his smile that calms me down…
“Why the long face there? Anything wrong?”. Ted asked me one day when I got back from school. “Ted… I think that I’m created to be alone… She left me…” .“What??? She left you again? How many times now have she left you???”. Ted was surprise that I was being dumped yet again… “No you silly bear, It’s a different girl”. I again would tell Ted about my break up or any other problems… hurm… Well that’s just it… Guy’s have only two problems… its either money or girls…
Over the years, Ted begins to hate girls… He hates how I was treated by girls… but the stupid thing is… He doesn’t know which one is which… Ted can’t tell between a guy and a girl… He just hates girls… but he likes Mum… because Mum took care of him when ever I’m gone…
Ted is a very interesting and amazing creature that I ever have the chance to meet and know… I’m glad that he’s mine… He always manage to surprise me… its been 7 years… yet there is always something new that he does that would amaze me… he’s just fun to be with and I enjoy being with him…
The funny things is, I often found out his new ability or capability during sleeping… that’s why I love sleeping with him… its not just because that he is cute and loveable to hug… Ted is indeed special….
To be continue…
A Guy, A Girl & A Little Bear (3)
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That night was the first night I slept with Ted... both of us fell asleep in each others arms... many would read this and think that its like a romantic night... Ted is just so comfortable to sleep with... I hug him until sunrise... well that is before I discover the true nature of Ted sleeping... but that story is in another episode...
The next day... I woke up and Ted is still sleeping... so i jump off my bed and let him sleep... it was weird that i woke up early on a Sunday morning... so i came down the stairs for breakfast... Mum and Dad was reading the newspaper and was surprise that i woke up early... "You're early today.. going anywhere?". Dad asked me... He always expect me to go somewhere if I woke up early... "Nope. Just woke up for breakfast". I replied. I eat my breakfast and watch television... what else is on that's interesting beside cartoons in the morning???
As I was watching television... my mind was thinking of Ted... at the time Ted hasn't had any name yet... I just called him little bear... so i was thinking of a name to called him... I watch the cartoon characters on television hoping to get some ideas on what to name him... after I had think of some... I went back to my room...
"Hey there little bear, wake up already!!". I went beside ted and try to woke him up... he turn and look at me... "Erm... Hug me please... just a little while before i woke up". Ted requested me to hug him.. He made a cute face... how could i resist... so I lay down beside him and hug him... Ted hug me back and we both fall back asleep until late in the evening...
I was trick by Ted... he asked me to hug him... that's just a trick for him to asked me to come back and sleep with him... I always fall for his trick over and over again... Ted has a deadly cute face and smile that could force anyone to surrender into his every need... So we both woke up late in the evening that day... we both was wide awake... but still in bed... "Hey little bear, do you have a name?" Ted just shake his head and says no. "I've been thinking of names to call you since this morning, but I can't seem to remember any of them after i woke up". Ted looked at me excitedly and said "You've been thinking all morning??? Hurm... hope that you've found a good one".
"I'm blur right now, can't think of a name to name you right now, why don't you think of one and tell me what you want me to call you". Ted sat up straight and start thinking of names he wanted me to call him... we spent that hole evening together thinking of names for him. Ted come up with ridicules names for himself and we lough together at the names we had thought of... and all of a sudden... it came to me... "Teddy bear... yup, that's what i will call you... Teddy bear... Ted for short". Ted smile and said "Ted it is then". He hug me and said thank you for bringing him home... That's how Ted got his name...
To be continue...
A Guy... A Girl... and A Bear.... (2)
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That day.... was a special day.... just so badly that i forget the date... I didn't record that historical day... but what the heck... it's still fresh in my mind.. just like it just happened...
Ted feels just like at home in my bed... the first thing that he did when i put him on my bed is roll over and over... and then he said.. " Is this my bed??? so comfortable... i like it very much... erm... where do you sleep???". He was so clueless and adorable at the time... I lough and said... "Little bear... this is my bed... but I'm happy to share it with you". "Ooh good... I hate sleeping in a large bed alone... will you hug me when we sleep?". Ted said afterwords...
He keep on rolling as we keep on talking... "Yeah of course I'll hug you... I have a feeling that this is a start of something great". as i said that... ted had already stop rolling on my bed... he was laying still... "Little bear?!".... He was already asleep... probably tired from the journey back home... I cover him up with a blanket and let him sleep...
To be Continue....
A Guy, A Girl and A little Bear (1)
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I still remember how i first meet with Ted... it was 7 years ago... In a shopping mall...
that day... Mum wanted to go shopping and i end up waking early on a Saturday morning to accompany her... since I'm the only one home i have to accompany her... so that dismiss the fact that I'm the last and the youngest of my siblings... I was 14th at the time... so what??? is it wrong to go out with your mum??? I'm glad because i don't spent much time with my mum since she's busy all the time...
Mum was looking around... as usual at her favorite two things that could be in a mall shoe's and handbags... It was a routine for me to accompany my mum... at first i was board... then as i get older i love to wonder around searching for anything that could keep me busy while waiting for mum...
I was wondering around... looking and searching for something that would keep my mind occupy for the moment while i was waiting for my mum... and then... its like fate has guide me to him... and there he was... the only bear sitting in a pile of other stuffed animal... that was the first time we lade eyes on each other... i walked to him and say " hey there little bear... what are you doing here all alone???" he didn't answer... so i pick him up... at that moment... i saw him smiling... i swear to God he was smiling when i pick him up... then and there i decided... " You're coming home with me".
I quickly find my mum and introduce my new friend... i was like a boy who had just struck gold... then i felt like being hit by a car when my mum says " No!!! your to big for anything like that, put him back where he belongs...".
Then i look at the little bear... along the way to put him back where he belongs... I heal him in my arms... it feels so right... and leaving him there was wrong... He was so cute and innocent... after seeing him smile when i pick him up... i know that we were destine to meet... " I know what mum said... but i don't know why... I did say that I'm bringing you back home with me... let's just hope that this work okay???".
Mum was shopping for lots of stuff... she bought me new t-shirts... everything was in the trolley... then not long after its time to go back home... i push the trolley to the cash register as mum was walking in front... as we reach the counter... i begin to take out all the stuff in the trolley... mum was in front of the cash register... she was looking inside her purse... trying to find her discount card... then I'm done putting all the stuff... i stand beside my mum and pray... the cash register lady was scanning all the stuff that we bought one by one... all was done except the t-shirt that mum bought me... there was two shirts and they were mixed up with each other like they were wrapping something... then suddenly.... she pick up Ted and say "Ma'am... this too???"... i was saying to myself.. damn it lady just scan it already... why do you have to ask... stupid Bi**h... The lady heal up Ted and show him to my mum... i was disappointed... all hope of bringing him back was lost...
But mum saw what i saw... Ted was smiling at my mum and making a cute face... mum smile and look at me... then she said... " yes, that too..." I was shock... in this believe... but was extremely happy and over exaggerated... thanks mum...
And that is how it begin between me and Ted... without ever realizing that it has been 7 years since that historical day...
To Be Continue....
Wednesday
Chill in JB
Our first outing in JB together... its funny... we've been many places together... since part 1... but never in JB... our home state... our home isn't that far from each other... i could say we live quite near by... but still never had the time to spent together...
it was fun... and i hope in the future we'll have the time to spent together again...
Tuesday
First day... first time away...
Fasting Month... its Ramadhan...
the first day of fasting is a day that you spent with your whole family... sitting at one table and eat... a simple gathering that you don't get during normal days... well for most people at least...
my friend said that the first day of fasting is like thanks giving... where the whole family member comes home... sit in one table and break fast together...
sometimes during usual days we don't get much chance to sit in one table with our family during dinner... maybe dad comes back late... maybe mom didn't cook and we have to eat out site... or something else... well for me... i'm not home... so its hard to eat with them...
but today... its the first day of fasting... and i'm in segamat... not in jb with my family like i'm suppose too... just because i got lots of test... damn it... its a first... my friend said that "we all will have to go thru it at one point in our life time..." but i didn't expect it to be this soon... then she said "well..we plan but god decide..."
yeah... what she said its true... i use took cook back home... but today i cook with a weird feeling... since i'm renting out... cooking is the only option to save... I love cooking... but this first fasting i cooked for my housemate... miss home...
the first day of fasting is a day that you spent with your whole family... sitting at one table and eat... a simple gathering that you don't get during normal days... well for most people at least...
my friend said that the first day of fasting is like thanks giving... where the whole family member comes home... sit in one table and break fast together...
sometimes during usual days we don't get much chance to sit in one table with our family during dinner... maybe dad comes back late... maybe mom didn't cook and we have to eat out site... or something else... well for me... i'm not home... so its hard to eat with them...
but today... its the first day of fasting... and i'm in segamat... not in jb with my family like i'm suppose too... just because i got lots of test... damn it... its a first... my friend said that "we all will have to go thru it at one point in our life time..." but i didn't expect it to be this soon... then she said "well..we plan but god decide..."
yeah... what she said its true... i use took cook back home... but today i cook with a weird feeling... since i'm renting out... cooking is the only option to save... I love cooking... but this first fasting i cooked for my housemate... miss home...
Thursday
Replaced yet again...
You said that you will find someone better to replace me... well I’m sure now that you will... nope.. I’m very certain that you will...because all of then leave me for the same reason... SOMEONE BETTER... its always been because of someone better.. its my fate to become second class... try as i might to be the first... to be on top...
I’ll end up being pushed back to the ground again... You’ve change me a lot since we’re together... i cherish every moment...
Haven't felt this kind of happiness for a long time... i really love you.. still and always do... i can't remember any kind of happiness in my past.. because since I'm with you... You erased it all... and replaced it with the memory of you...
So how could i think of anything else?... I miss you... miss your smile.. miss your loughter... your side kick.. miss looking into those hazel eyes of yours... miss holding your hands... your hugs.. i miss everything about you... I'm miserable without you...
I’ll end up being pushed back to the ground again... You’ve change me a lot since we’re together... i cherish every moment...
Haven't felt this kind of happiness for a long time... i really love you.. still and always do... i can't remember any kind of happiness in my past.. because since I'm with you... You erased it all... and replaced it with the memory of you...
So how could i think of anything else?... I miss you... miss your smile.. miss your loughter... your side kick.. miss looking into those hazel eyes of yours... miss holding your hands... your hugs.. i miss everything about you... I'm miserable without you...
Wednesday
Choclate Rose
You may have read this saying somewhere...
" People often forget to cherish the person that is infront of them... and they never know what they had until they lost them..."
This saying is set as a reminder to people so that they cherish people around them... implimenting that if they don't they would regret it later in life...
but I think its all bullshit... even if you cherish someone so much... cared and give all that you have... the posibbility of loosing that someone is still there... so if you cherish them or not... it dosen't matter...
fate has many supprise for us... and things are always never certain... that what makes life so wonderful...
all I'm saying is.... without you... I'm nothing...
" People often forget to cherish the person that is infront of them... and they never know what they had until they lost them..."
This saying is set as a reminder to people so that they cherish people around them... implimenting that if they don't they would regret it later in life...
but I think its all bullshit... even if you cherish someone so much... cared and give all that you have... the posibbility of loosing that someone is still there... so if you cherish them or not... it dosen't matter...
fate has many supprise for us... and things are always never certain... that what makes life so wonderful...
all I'm saying is.... without you... I'm nothing...
Tuesday
last morning kiss...
Most people woke up each day... thinking that its just another day... to some... its a day to look forward to or a day in which they had been waiting for.... sometimes people forget to cherish the day... and end up with nothing the next day...
I can be categorized as the most people that think yesterday was just an ordinary day... true that life is wonderful... but it's not always beautiful... it can also be ugly and painful...
Yesterday was the last day of giving my morning kiss to you... I hate that it has to stop... I hate that things didn't work out... my heart is in pain... and it is now fearless... they say that its good to have fear... it tells you that you're alive... it means that you have something to loose... but now I've lost the very important part of my life... and I don't know how to get it back...
I can be categorized as the most people that think yesterday was just an ordinary day... true that life is wonderful... but it's not always beautiful... it can also be ugly and painful...
Yesterday was the last day of giving my morning kiss to you... I hate that it has to stop... I hate that things didn't work out... my heart is in pain... and it is now fearless... they say that its good to have fear... it tells you that you're alive... it means that you have something to loose... but now I've lost the very important part of my life... and I don't know how to get it back...
Sunday
Mafia Wars
Join my Mob family and be a mafia...
(for instructions leave a comment and I'll advise you to help you along the way...)
Death: is the issue ever been discuss yet?
Death...
is that a scary word for you???
if its not... then... you're still young and thinks that there is still lots to achieve... lots to see in this beautiful world... lots of feelings that haven't been felt yet... or maybe you're old.. but just can't except death just yet...
well have you at least give it a thought... if its only for just one second... every actions... every decisions... has in consequences...
now think of your every actions and decisions... what consequences has it brought to you??? What's installed for us in the after life... some who read this maybe think that its still a long time before death comes for them... but how are you so certain that death would not come to you in 5 minute after you read this??? or NOW!!!!
i'm not even certain when will my time come... maybe after i write this post... but i can tell you one thing... I'm sure am not ready...
thinking of death just keeps me aware of stuff... things that i haven't yet achieve... for instant giving back my parents what they had gave me... paying back every single cent that they spent on me... even after every penny is paid back... it still isn't enough... what about finishing my studies... get a job... expanding my business... get married... have kids... and lots more...
well you don't always get what you want... even if you tried hard enough... without God's willing... all you effort is useless... so be thankful to God for each and every achievement in life that you had achieve...
is that a scary word for you???
if its not... then... you're still young and thinks that there is still lots to achieve... lots to see in this beautiful world... lots of feelings that haven't been felt yet... or maybe you're old.. but just can't except death just yet...
well have you at least give it a thought... if its only for just one second... every actions... every decisions... has in consequences...
now think of your every actions and decisions... what consequences has it brought to you??? What's installed for us in the after life... some who read this maybe think that its still a long time before death comes for them... but how are you so certain that death would not come to you in 5 minute after you read this??? or NOW!!!!
i'm not even certain when will my time come... maybe after i write this post... but i can tell you one thing... I'm sure am not ready...
thinking of death just keeps me aware of stuff... things that i haven't yet achieve... for instant giving back my parents what they had gave me... paying back every single cent that they spent on me... even after every penny is paid back... it still isn't enough... what about finishing my studies... get a job... expanding my business... get married... have kids... and lots more...
well you don't always get what you want... even if you tried hard enough... without God's willing... all you effort is useless... so be thankful to God for each and every achievement in life that you had achieve...
Friday
Third reason for lying reposted
Posting my story of Ted just have to wait... because my mind is wondering else where...
Good things.. do come to those who wait... but great things comes to those who wait a little longer...
I wish that I've waited longer.... so that I would not have to lie...
In my post earlier.... I ask what is the third reason for lying... I was hoping that someone could tell me... but.... I finally got the answer myself... The third reason for lying is LOVE...
Love is a crazy and funny thing... it's never meant to be understood but to be felt...
you'd do anything for love... but is everything done by people that is in love could be forgiven???
that remain unanswered...
That would be my question for people who read my blog now... second question after the third reason for lying... I'm confessing that I not a type of person that could be trusted... I'm a big fat liar... yes I'm... people who are close to me often said that I'm a kind and good person... silently i despised their thought... I'm a manipulator... I can manage to control people's feelings and emotion....
Why do I finally admit this out loud??? Because I fall in Love again... and it hurts... when you finally found a reason to go straight... to be true.... you just can't simply be trusted... thats sad...
I'm not sorry for what I did... because I did it out of my love for her...
I end up being a jerk... I had always been in and out of a relationship after I broke up with my ex that I once thought that she was the only love of my life... I was played... and it hurts... I know that feeling very well... I'm just so sorry for doing the same to others... Its not about revenge... I just don't know why...
Ever done something for no reason???
I just want to find someone and commit myself to her.... and I choose one... and whats left is just an answer from her...
Ted's the one that picked her... thanks Ted... your my bff for life...
Good things.. do come to those who wait... but great things comes to those who wait a little longer...
I wish that I've waited longer.... so that I would not have to lie...
In my post earlier.... I ask what is the third reason for lying... I was hoping that someone could tell me... but.... I finally got the answer myself... The third reason for lying is LOVE...
Love is a crazy and funny thing... it's never meant to be understood but to be felt...
you'd do anything for love... but is everything done by people that is in love could be forgiven???
that remain unanswered...
That would be my question for people who read my blog now... second question after the third reason for lying... I'm confessing that I not a type of person that could be trusted... I'm a big fat liar... yes I'm... people who are close to me often said that I'm a kind and good person... silently i despised their thought... I'm a manipulator... I can manage to control people's feelings and emotion....
Why do I finally admit this out loud??? Because I fall in Love again... and it hurts... when you finally found a reason to go straight... to be true.... you just can't simply be trusted... thats sad...
I'm not sorry for what I did... because I did it out of my love for her...
I end up being a jerk... I had always been in and out of a relationship after I broke up with my ex that I once thought that she was the only love of my life... I was played... and it hurts... I know that feeling very well... I'm just so sorry for doing the same to others... Its not about revenge... I just don't know why...
Ever done something for no reason???
I just want to find someone and commit myself to her.... and I choose one... and whats left is just an answer from her...
Ted's the one that picked her... thanks Ted... your my bff for life...
Saturday
bloody Idiots
this particular post are for you FUCKING idiots that don't know to be quite in a cyber cafe... playing games and screaming... what the fuck is your fucking problems... don't you have any respect with people around you are at least being shameful acting that way in a public place...
If i had it my way... i stand now and slap each and everyone of you fucking idiots silly...
shut the fuck up...
Monday
Posting for peace
Living free... doing everything and anything without ever thinking of any consequences... living life to the fullest... I enjoyed that life... enjoyed it very much... back then... i have nothing to worry... and being not to worry about anything is not being scared of anything... living without fear...
but that life has its disadvantages... if i chose to life that life... i would be lonely for the rest of my life... and so i chose to love...
and love is always a complicated life... a life of fear... fear of being left by love... doing anything possible to keep that love from going away... even if it means that i have to feel hurts and pain... but that pain doesn't compare the feeling of being lonely... and so i bare it all...
Its true... to the people who read me through their naked eye would say that I'm a womanizer... but i have the right to choose the right one don't I??? so does everybody else... but I've found what i'm searching... just that its hard to make her believe that she's the one...
Wednesday
A Guy, A Girl and A Llittle Bear (5)
He surprise me yet again... I was in my room playing my play station... and Ted sat beside me watching me play... he wanted to play... but he always looses... so he just sat beside me cheering for the other team that play against me... Ted loves watching me loose... because he can't manage to win against me...
Then it happen... I was playing winning 11 at the time... and the opposing team manage to score against me... Ted scream in jubilant and was glad... "Yeeaayy..." he was happy and all of a sudden he started dancing... I was surprise that Ted could dance... from then on... Ted would loved to dance whenever I put on some music on... a pretty good dancer Ted is...
Over the years... I found out new things about Ted... he loves to dance, play games on the computers and my play station and I recently discovered that Ted loves folding cloths... He said that Mum teaches him how to fold clothes... so now, when ever I'm going back to campus... Ted would help me pack my stuff...
"Aril, when are you coming back? I miss you... there still many things we haven't done together yet". Ted asked me when I was getting ready to go back to campus after my semester break is over. I rarely come back for the weekend... its far... yet i miss Ted too... "Maybe I come back during the weekend Ted, then we can finish all the stuff that we haven't done yet" Just to calm Ted, I made a promise to come back whenever I could. Campus life is such a hectic life... always busy with test, exams, quizzes and others stupid activities...
I hug Ted... Give him a kiss and off to the bus station... I hate living Ted... but he's one of the reason that I would think of to come back home...
To be continue...
Then it happen... I was playing winning 11 at the time... and the opposing team manage to score against me... Ted scream in jubilant and was glad... "Yeeaayy..." he was happy and all of a sudden he started dancing... I was surprise that Ted could dance... from then on... Ted would loved to dance whenever I put on some music on... a pretty good dancer Ted is...
Over the years... I found out new things about Ted... he loves to dance, play games on the computers and my play station and I recently discovered that Ted loves folding cloths... He said that Mum teaches him how to fold clothes... so now, when ever I'm going back to campus... Ted would help me pack my stuff...
"Aril, when are you coming back? I miss you... there still many things we haven't done together yet". Ted asked me when I was getting ready to go back to campus after my semester break is over. I rarely come back for the weekend... its far... yet i miss Ted too... "Maybe I come back during the weekend Ted, then we can finish all the stuff that we haven't done yet" Just to calm Ted, I made a promise to come back whenever I could. Campus life is such a hectic life... always busy with test, exams, quizzes and others stupid activities...
I hug Ted... Give him a kiss and off to the bus station... I hate living Ted... but he's one of the reason that I would think of to come back home...
To be continue...
Tuesday
A Guy, A Girl and A Little Bear ( 4 )
The choice of bringing Ted home was the right one… I guest it is really fate that brought us together… Ted is a very good friend and a great listener… He often listens to my problems… and I always feel better after I told Ted about my problems… its something about his smile that calms me down…
“Why the long face there? Anything wrong?”. Ted asked me one day when I got back from school. “Ted… I think that I’m created to be alone… She left me…” .“What??? She left you again? How many times now have she left you???”. Ted was surprise that I was being dumped yet again… “No you silly bear, It’s a different girl”. I again would tell Ted about my break up or any other problems… hurm… Well that’s just it… Guy’s have only two problems… its either money or girls…
Over the years, Ted begins to hate girls… He hates how I was treated by girls… but the stupid thing is… He doesn’t know which one is which… Ted can’t tell between a guy and a girl… He just hates girls… but he likes Mum… because Mum took care of him when ever I’m gone…
Ted is a very interesting and amazing creature that I ever have the chance to meet and know… I’m glad that he’s mine… He always manage to surprise me… its been 7 years… yet there is always something new that he does that would amaze me… he’s just fun to be with and I enjoy being with him…
The funny things is, I often found out his new ability or capability during sleeping… that’s why I love sleeping with him… its not just because that he is cute and loveable to hug… Ted is indeed special….
To be continue…
“Why the long face there? Anything wrong?”. Ted asked me one day when I got back from school. “Ted… I think that I’m created to be alone… She left me…” .“What??? She left you again? How many times now have she left you???”. Ted was surprise that I was being dumped yet again… “No you silly bear, It’s a different girl”. I again would tell Ted about my break up or any other problems… hurm… Well that’s just it… Guy’s have only two problems… its either money or girls…
Over the years, Ted begins to hate girls… He hates how I was treated by girls… but the stupid thing is… He doesn’t know which one is which… Ted can’t tell between a guy and a girl… He just hates girls… but he likes Mum… because Mum took care of him when ever I’m gone…
Ted is a very interesting and amazing creature that I ever have the chance to meet and know… I’m glad that he’s mine… He always manage to surprise me… its been 7 years… yet there is always something new that he does that would amaze me… he’s just fun to be with and I enjoy being with him…
The funny things is, I often found out his new ability or capability during sleeping… that’s why I love sleeping with him… its not just because that he is cute and loveable to hug… Ted is indeed special….
To be continue…
Monday
words from a condemn
As time goes buy... I learn a lot relating to love, relationship, trust, and being faithful....
and that is... never to love, never get involve in a relationship, trust no one, and stop being faithful...
so... it has begun... the dark side of my life... as I get older... I've grown to become wiser by experience in life and by aging day by day.... Just after i left school... i left home... and travel to a few places... meet with new friends... expanding my network of friends... learn new things... new stuff... learn to adjust in different places... its fun.. and sometimes painful...
people can sure be deceiving... they always shows their good side to others... and hide their true colours... deep inside where people can't even see a glimpse of it...
And so i learn it all... learn the do and don't... the does and doesn't... they say it takes one to know one... and so I've become one... I learn that I have the capability to read throe people... to see their strength and weaknesses... to see people's limit.... and that is how... I learn to manipulate...
This new found give is being used for my personal gain... and its bad... I've become the type of person that I hate to become... a lying and deceiving man...
Why??? because I'm searching... for something to fill up my life... this is my way... and many would go against it... but so what??? what have others have gave me beside betrayal and heart ache??? so they are just the same... then don't judge me just yet.... because you're be judging yourself.... " Am I such a good person that i could judge others??? " the answer is NO... so except people for who they are....
and that is... never to love, never get involve in a relationship, trust no one, and stop being faithful...
so... it has begun... the dark side of my life... as I get older... I've grown to become wiser by experience in life and by aging day by day.... Just after i left school... i left home... and travel to a few places... meet with new friends... expanding my network of friends... learn new things... new stuff... learn to adjust in different places... its fun.. and sometimes painful...
people can sure be deceiving... they always shows their good side to others... and hide their true colours... deep inside where people can't even see a glimpse of it...
And so i learn it all... learn the do and don't... the does and doesn't... they say it takes one to know one... and so I've become one... I learn that I have the capability to read throe people... to see their strength and weaknesses... to see people's limit.... and that is how... I learn to manipulate...
This new found give is being used for my personal gain... and its bad... I've become the type of person that I hate to become... a lying and deceiving man...
Why??? because I'm searching... for something to fill up my life... this is my way... and many would go against it... but so what??? what have others have gave me beside betrayal and heart ache??? so they are just the same... then don't judge me just yet.... because you're be judging yourself.... " Am I such a good person that i could judge others??? " the answer is NO... so except people for who they are....
Wednesday
Third reason for lying-found
Posting my story of Ted just have to wait... because my mind is wondering else where...
Good things.. do come to those who wait... but great things comes to those who wait a little longer...
I wish that I've waited longer.... so that I would not have to lie...
In my post earlier.... I ask what is the third reason for lying... I was hoping that someone could tell me... but.... I finally got the answer myself... The third reason for lying is LOVE...
Love is a crazy and funny thing... it's never meant to be understood but to be felt...
you'd do anything for love... but is everything done by people that is in love could be forgiven???
that remain unanswered...
That would be my question for people who read my blog now... second question after the third reason for lying... I'm confessing that I not a type of person that could be trusted... I'm a big fat liar... yes I'm... people who are close to me often said that I'm a kind and good person... silently i despised their thought... I'm a manipulator... I can manage to control people's feelings and emotion....
Why do I finally admit this out loud??? Because I fall in Love again... and it hurts... when you finally found a reason to go straight... to be true.... you just can't simply be trusted... thats sad...
I'm not sorry for what I did... because I did it out of my love for her...
I end up being a jerk... I had always been in and out of a relationship after I broke up with my ex that I once thought that she was the only love of my life... I was played... and it hurts... I know that feeling very well... I'm just so sorry for doing the same to others... Its not about revenge... I just don't know why...
Ever done something for no reason???
I just want to find someone and commit myself to her.... and I choose one... and whats left is just an answer from her...
Ted's the one that picked her... thanks Ted... your my bff for life...
Good things.. do come to those who wait... but great things comes to those who wait a little longer...
I wish that I've waited longer.... so that I would not have to lie...
In my post earlier.... I ask what is the third reason for lying... I was hoping that someone could tell me... but.... I finally got the answer myself... The third reason for lying is LOVE...
Love is a crazy and funny thing... it's never meant to be understood but to be felt...
you'd do anything for love... but is everything done by people that is in love could be forgiven???
that remain unanswered...
That would be my question for people who read my blog now... second question after the third reason for lying... I'm confessing that I not a type of person that could be trusted... I'm a big fat liar... yes I'm... people who are close to me often said that I'm a kind and good person... silently i despised their thought... I'm a manipulator... I can manage to control people's feelings and emotion....
Why do I finally admit this out loud??? Because I fall in Love again... and it hurts... when you finally found a reason to go straight... to be true.... you just can't simply be trusted... thats sad...
I'm not sorry for what I did... because I did it out of my love for her...
I end up being a jerk... I had always been in and out of a relationship after I broke up with my ex that I once thought that she was the only love of my life... I was played... and it hurts... I know that feeling very well... I'm just so sorry for doing the same to others... Its not about revenge... I just don't know why...
Ever done something for no reason???
I just want to find someone and commit myself to her.... and I choose one... and whats left is just an answer from her...
Ted's the one that picked her... thanks Ted... your my bff for life...
Saturday
A Guy, A Girl & A Little Bear (3)
That night was the first night I slept with Ted... both of us fell asleep in each others arms... many would read this and think that its like a romantic night... Ted is just so comfortable to sleep with... I hug him until sunrise... well that is before I discover the true nature of Ted sleeping... but that story is in another episode...
The next day... I woke up and Ted is still sleeping... so i jump off my bed and let him sleep... it was weird that i woke up early on a Sunday morning... so i came down the stairs for breakfast... Mum and Dad was reading the newspaper and was surprise that i woke up early... "You're early today.. going anywhere?". Dad asked me... He always expect me to go somewhere if I woke up early... "Nope. Just woke up for breakfast". I replied. I eat my breakfast and watch television... what else is on that's interesting beside cartoons in the morning???
As I was watching television... my mind was thinking of Ted... at the time Ted hasn't had any name yet... I just called him little bear... so i was thinking of a name to called him... I watch the cartoon characters on television hoping to get some ideas on what to name him... after I had think of some... I went back to my room...
"Hey there little bear, wake up already!!". I went beside ted and try to woke him up... he turn and look at me... "Erm... Hug me please... just a little while before i woke up". Ted requested me to hug him.. He made a cute face... how could i resist... so I lay down beside him and hug him... Ted hug me back and we both fall back asleep until late in the evening...
I was trick by Ted... he asked me to hug him... that's just a trick for him to asked me to come back and sleep with him... I always fall for his trick over and over again... Ted has a deadly cute face and smile that could force anyone to surrender into his every need... So we both woke up late in the evening that day... we both was wide awake... but still in bed... "Hey little bear, do you have a name?" Ted just shake his head and says no. "I've been thinking of names to call you since this morning, but I can't seem to remember any of them after i woke up". Ted looked at me excitedly and said "You've been thinking all morning??? Hurm... hope that you've found a good one".
"I'm blur right now, can't think of a name to name you right now, why don't you think of one and tell me what you want me to call you". Ted sat up straight and start thinking of names he wanted me to call him... we spent that hole evening together thinking of names for him. Ted come up with ridicules names for himself and we lough together at the names we had thought of... and all of a sudden... it came to me... "Teddy bear... yup, that's what i will call you... Teddy bear... Ted for short". Ted smile and said "Ted it is then". He hug me and said thank you for bringing him home... That's how Ted got his name...
To be continue...
The next day... I woke up and Ted is still sleeping... so i jump off my bed and let him sleep... it was weird that i woke up early on a Sunday morning... so i came down the stairs for breakfast... Mum and Dad was reading the newspaper and was surprise that i woke up early... "You're early today.. going anywhere?". Dad asked me... He always expect me to go somewhere if I woke up early... "Nope. Just woke up for breakfast". I replied. I eat my breakfast and watch television... what else is on that's interesting beside cartoons in the morning???
As I was watching television... my mind was thinking of Ted... at the time Ted hasn't had any name yet... I just called him little bear... so i was thinking of a name to called him... I watch the cartoon characters on television hoping to get some ideas on what to name him... after I had think of some... I went back to my room...
"Hey there little bear, wake up already!!". I went beside ted and try to woke him up... he turn and look at me... "Erm... Hug me please... just a little while before i woke up". Ted requested me to hug him.. He made a cute face... how could i resist... so I lay down beside him and hug him... Ted hug me back and we both fall back asleep until late in the evening...
I was trick by Ted... he asked me to hug him... that's just a trick for him to asked me to come back and sleep with him... I always fall for his trick over and over again... Ted has a deadly cute face and smile that could force anyone to surrender into his every need... So we both woke up late in the evening that day... we both was wide awake... but still in bed... "Hey little bear, do you have a name?" Ted just shake his head and says no. "I've been thinking of names to call you since this morning, but I can't seem to remember any of them after i woke up". Ted looked at me excitedly and said "You've been thinking all morning??? Hurm... hope that you've found a good one".
"I'm blur right now, can't think of a name to name you right now, why don't you think of one and tell me what you want me to call you". Ted sat up straight and start thinking of names he wanted me to call him... we spent that hole evening together thinking of names for him. Ted come up with ridicules names for himself and we lough together at the names we had thought of... and all of a sudden... it came to me... "Teddy bear... yup, that's what i will call you... Teddy bear... Ted for short". Ted smile and said "Ted it is then". He hug me and said thank you for bringing him home... That's how Ted got his name...
To be continue...
Friday
A Guy... A Girl... and A Bear.... (2)
That day.... was a special day.... just so badly that i forget the date... I didn't record that historical day... but what the heck... it's still fresh in my mind.. just like it just happened...
Ted feels just like at home in my bed... the first thing that he did when i put him on my bed is roll over and over... and then he said.. " Is this my bed??? so comfortable... i like it very much... erm... where do you sleep???". He was so clueless and adorable at the time... I lough and said... "Little bear... this is my bed... but I'm happy to share it with you". "Ooh good... I hate sleeping in a large bed alone... will you hug me when we sleep?". Ted said afterwords...
He keep on rolling as we keep on talking... "Yeah of course I'll hug you... I have a feeling that this is a start of something great". as i said that... ted had already stop rolling on my bed... he was laying still... "Little bear?!".... He was already asleep... probably tired from the journey back home... I cover him up with a blanket and let him sleep...
To be Continue....
Ted feels just like at home in my bed... the first thing that he did when i put him on my bed is roll over and over... and then he said.. " Is this my bed??? so comfortable... i like it very much... erm... where do you sleep???". He was so clueless and adorable at the time... I lough and said... "Little bear... this is my bed... but I'm happy to share it with you". "Ooh good... I hate sleeping in a large bed alone... will you hug me when we sleep?". Ted said afterwords...
He keep on rolling as we keep on talking... "Yeah of course I'll hug you... I have a feeling that this is a start of something great". as i said that... ted had already stop rolling on my bed... he was laying still... "Little bear?!".... He was already asleep... probably tired from the journey back home... I cover him up with a blanket and let him sleep...
To be Continue....
Thursday
A Guy, A Girl and A little Bear
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This is just another typical story.... a story of a guy and his little bear and a not so little girl...
I still remember how i first meet with Ted... it was 7 years ago... In a shopping mall...
that day... Mum wanted to go shopping and i end up waking early on a Saturday morning to accompany her... since I'm the only one home i have to accompany her... so that dismiss the fact that I'm the last and the youngest of my siblings... I was 14th at the time... so what??? is it wrong to go out with your mum??? I'm glad because i don't spent much time with my mum since she's busy all the time...
Mum was looking around... as usual at her favorite two things that could be in a mall shoe's and handbags... It was a routine for me to accompany my mum... at first i was board... then as i get older i love to wonder around searching for anything that could keep me busy while waiting for mum...
I was wondering around... looking and searching for something that would keep my mind occupy for the moment while i was waiting for my mum... and then... its like fate has guide me to him... and there he was... the only bear sitting in a pile of other stuffed animal... that was the first time we lade eyes on each other... i walked to him and say " hey there little bear... what are you doing here all alone???" he didn't answer... so i pick him up... at that moment... i saw him smiling... i swear to God he was smiling when i pick him up... then and there i decided... " You're coming home with me".
I quickly find my mum and introduce my new friend... i was like a boy who had just struck gold... then i felt like being hit by a car when my mum says " No!!! your to big for anything like that, put him back where he belongs...".
Then i look at the little bear... along the way to put him back where he belongs... I heal him in my arms... it feels so right... and leaving him there was wrong... He was so cute and innocent... after seeing him smile when i pick him up... i know that we were destine to meet... " I know what mum said... but i don't know why... I did say that I'm bringing you back home with me... let's just hope that this work okay???".
Mum was shopping for lots of stuff... she bought me new t-shirts... everything was in the trolley... then not long after its time to go back home... i push the trolley to the cash register as mum was walking in front... as we reach the counter... i begin to take out all the stuff in the trolley... mum was in front of the cash register... she was looking inside her purse... trying to find her discount card... then I'm done putting all the stuff... i stand beside my mum and pray... the cash register lady was scanning all the stuff that we bought one by one... all was done except the t-shirt that mum bought me... there was two shirts and they were mixed up with each other like they were wrapping something... then suddenly.... she pick up Ted and say "Ma'am... this too???"... i was saying to myself.. damn it lady just scan it already... why do you have to ask... stupid Bi**h... The lady heal up Ted and show him to my mum... i was disappointed... all hope of bringing him back was lost...
But mum saw what i saw... Ted was smiling at my mum and making a cute face... mum smile and look at me... then she said... " yes, that too..." I was shock... in this believe... but was extremely happy and over exaggerated... thanks mum...
And that is how it begin between me and Ted... without ever realizing that it has been 7 years since that historical day...
To Be Continue....
its been two weeks now since the start of the semester... things are all moving fast... damn fast... well its always been like this... since i first arrive here few years back... just need time to adjust after a long break...
Today i was ask to give an idea on what topic to write... i was trying my best to think... but today... its pretty much been very hazy... i don't know whats going on with me... i think i still left myself back in JB...
Someone told me today that when she read my blog... she thought that i was someone who is serious all the time... but I'm exactly just the opposite...
Lots about me that people often misjudge... and i wish i could told them off.. and stop them from making assumption about me... but... its now my style... i believe in freedom of thinking... and something is just better left unsaid...
I'm happier this semester... but still the sense of emptiness is still there.... but not when i'm with Ted... He's been there for me... a good friend... he makes me smile each and every time... you'd be surprise to know who Ted is... well currently he's not with me.. his status is away... on a week vacation... that's just the thing... we never been a part for 7 years... and this is first time... but he's doing well... just chought a slight fever... but i know he is in good hands...
this is just getting weird and weirder for me... and i love it...
Today i was ask to give an idea on what topic to write... i was trying my best to think... but today... its pretty much been very hazy... i don't know whats going on with me... i think i still left myself back in JB...
Someone told me today that when she read my blog... she thought that i was someone who is serious all the time... but I'm exactly just the opposite...
Lots about me that people often misjudge... and i wish i could told them off.. and stop them from making assumption about me... but... its now my style... i believe in freedom of thinking... and something is just better left unsaid...
I'm happier this semester... but still the sense of emptiness is still there.... but not when i'm with Ted... He's been there for me... a good friend... he makes me smile each and every time... you'd be surprise to know who Ted is... well currently he's not with me.. his status is away... on a week vacation... that's just the thing... we never been a part for 7 years... and this is first time... but he's doing well... just chought a slight fever... but i know he is in good hands...
this is just getting weird and weirder for me... and i love it...
Wednesday
Pendant for sale
Hey people... interested in these pendant??? you may purchase it from miss unpredictable kiki.. she's in one of my links... don't you think its cute... i like the duck ang the orang lidi...but i purchase the orang lidi only... it would make a cute key Chane... well just in case if you don't know how to contact her... you can placean order with me and i'll patch your orders to her...
Sunday
It's all in the book!!!
I guess that being surrounded by many friends doesn’t quite like I picture it would be…I always thought that when I have many friends they would know each other and becomes friends too… caring about one another and no enemies among them… boy how wrong was I…
I have many set of friends… and even to the naked eye they all may be evenly the same… God has created them with different personality that differ them from one another…
I hate to be in a situation to choose between friends… sometimes two of my friends have a misunderstanding with each other any they ask me to choose sides… but for me… my friends will always be my friends… well friends do fight once a while right??? So I don’t choose sides with anyone…
Sometimes my friends told me that I’m knave to think that I could unite all the people that I’m friends with because each individual are different… different background, lifestyle, surrounding, thinking, personalities… and so on… yeah I know that… I just don’t know why we can’t all be friends??? I always treated my friends like my family… like brothers and sisters…
Well from all these years… all I had is just heart ache… its true what an old friend of mine said… when you get close to people… they are the one that that would hurt you the most… and your most hated enemy could become your greatest friend… I experience it myself to discover the truth in his words…
It’s funny though… you always learn the truth in something when it’s over… Fred Dust said “life is a lesson; you learn it when you’re thru” indeed life is a lesson… and all advises about life is already being told… in a book… just that people would read the book when their thru with their life…
(Book= Al- Quran)
I have many set of friends… and even to the naked eye they all may be evenly the same… God has created them with different personality that differ them from one another…
I hate to be in a situation to choose between friends… sometimes two of my friends have a misunderstanding with each other any they ask me to choose sides… but for me… my friends will always be my friends… well friends do fight once a while right??? So I don’t choose sides with anyone…
Sometimes my friends told me that I’m knave to think that I could unite all the people that I’m friends with because each individual are different… different background, lifestyle, surrounding, thinking, personalities… and so on… yeah I know that… I just don’t know why we can’t all be friends??? I always treated my friends like my family… like brothers and sisters…
Well from all these years… all I had is just heart ache… its true what an old friend of mine said… when you get close to people… they are the one that that would hurt you the most… and your most hated enemy could become your greatest friend… I experience it myself to discover the truth in his words…
It’s funny though… you always learn the truth in something when it’s over… Fred Dust said “life is a lesson; you learn it when you’re thru” indeed life is a lesson… and all advises about life is already being told… in a book… just that people would read the book when their thru with their life…
(Book= Al- Quran)
Saturday
Please Note...
This blog that i create i for me... yup... not for you... its my site to say what ever i want... to express whatever i feel... your comments are welcome... but pretty much not needed... you may say what ever you think... because you have the right to do so... and every mocking comment you made to me has no meaning to me... but i still do bite back... always will and always have... not that i dont welcome comment... i do... even bad ones to... but i dont except mocking comments... F*** you....
You may judge me anyway that you wish... but u don't know me... so your views is NOT NEEDED... i pretty much enjoy what ever is going on in my life...
You may judge me anyway that you wish... but u don't know me... so your views is NOT NEEDED... i pretty much enjoy what ever is going on in my life...
Tuesday
The answer is X
Put an (x) by all the things you've done.
(X) crashed a friend's car( it was just a little bum)
(_) stolen a car (my moms and ran into a garage)
(x) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
(_) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight
(x) snuck out of your parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
(_) been arrested( I was raided once)
(_) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
(x) skipped school
(x) seen someone die
(x) had a crush on one of your internet friends
(_) been to Canada
(_) been to Mexico
(_) been on a plane
(x) purposely set a part of yourself on fire
(x) eaten Sushi
(_) been skiing
(x) met someone in person from the internet
(_) been moshing at a concert
(_) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(_) made a snow angel
(_) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up( it was a crazy nite... who the hell left girls clothes lying around)
(_) jumped into a pile of leaves
(_) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at school
(_) used a fake id
(x) watched the sun set
(_) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake
(x) slept beneath the stars
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
(_) petted a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest
(x) run a red light
(_)been suspended from school(almost)
(x) been in a car
(_) had braces
(x) felt like an outcast
(_) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had déjà vu
(x) danced in the moonlight
(x) liked the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
(x) questioned your heart
(_) been obsessed with post-it notes
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
(?) recently colored with crayons ( i use paint does it count?)
(x) sung karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
(_) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(_) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) danced in the rain
(_) written a letter to Santa Claus
(_) been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
(x) made a bonfire on the beach
(x) crashed a party
(x) gone rollerskating
(x) had a wish come true
(_) worn pearls
(x) jumped off a bridge
(_) ate dog/cat food(what was i thinking)
(_) told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) kissed a mirror
(x) sang in the shower
(x) had a dream that you married someone
(x) glued your hand to something
(x) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
(_) kissed a fish
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
(x) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x)talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
(_) didn't take a shower for a week
(_) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
(x) had a tree house/club house
(x) are scared to watch scary movies alone
(x) believe in ghosts
(_) have more then 30 pairs of shoes. (i wish)
(x) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
(_) gone streaking
(_) gone doorbell ditching
(x) played chicken
(x) pushed into a pool/hot tub with all your clothes on
(x) told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused
(_) caught a fish then ate it (after it was cooked)
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
(x) cheated on a test
(_) have a Britney Spears CD
(x) forgotten someones name
(_) French braided someones hair
(x) gone skinny dippin in a pool
(_) been threatened to be kicked out of your house
(_)been kicked out your house
(X) crashed a friend's car( it was just a little bum)
(_) stolen a car (my moms and ran into a garage)
(x) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
(_) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight
(x) snuck out of your parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
(_) been arrested( I was raided once)
(_) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
(x) skipped school
(x) seen someone die
(x) had a crush on one of your internet friends
(_) been to Canada
(_) been to Mexico
(_) been on a plane
(x) purposely set a part of yourself on fire
(x) eaten Sushi
(_) been skiing
(x) met someone in person from the internet
(_) been moshing at a concert
(_) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(_) made a snow angel
(_) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up( it was a crazy nite... who the hell left girls clothes lying around)
(_) jumped into a pile of leaves
(_) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at school
(_) used a fake id
(x) watched the sun set
(_) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake
(x) slept beneath the stars
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
(_) petted a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest
(x) run a red light
(_)been suspended from school(almost)
(x) been in a car
(_) had braces
(x) felt like an outcast
(_) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had déjà vu
(x) danced in the moonlight
(x) liked the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
(x) questioned your heart
(_) been obsessed with post-it notes
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
(?) recently colored with crayons ( i use paint does it count?)
(x) sung karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
(_) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(_) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) danced in the rain
(_) written a letter to Santa Claus
(_) been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
(x) made a bonfire on the beach
(x) crashed a party
(x) gone rollerskating
(x) had a wish come true
(_) worn pearls
(x) jumped off a bridge
(_) ate dog/cat food(what was i thinking)
(_) told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) kissed a mirror
(x) sang in the shower
(x) had a dream that you married someone
(x) glued your hand to something
(x) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
(_) kissed a fish
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
(x) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x)talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
(_) didn't take a shower for a week
(_) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
(x) had a tree house/club house
(x) are scared to watch scary movies alone
(x) believe in ghosts
(_) have more then 30 pairs of shoes. (i wish)
(x) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
(_) gone streaking
(_) gone doorbell ditching
(x) played chicken
(x) pushed into a pool/hot tub with all your clothes on
(x) told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused
(_) caught a fish then ate it (after it was cooked)
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
(x) cheated on a test
(_) have a Britney Spears CD
(x) forgotten someones name
(_) French braided someones hair
(x) gone skinny dippin in a pool
(_) been threatened to be kicked out of your house
(_)been kicked out your house
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