Third Reason for lying

When ever my friends has a problem that is associated with their feelings… I always know what words to say to comfort them… to make them feel better… to make them feel someone still cares… I am sincere with my words… but I can’t say in each and every word… sometimes you need to say what people want to hear… that’s the only way to make them feel better… and yes… sometimes… it involve lies… lying for a good cause… is that a crime??? If you don’t like somebody but you pretend to in front of them… that’s a lie to right??? That could be categorizes as hypocrite… as I say, everyone is a hypocrite… even if they don’t admit it… I this story I could say that I sometimes am a hypocrite…

What goes around comes around… as the saying goes… I lie to comfort people and end up being lie to… just to comfort me… but I realize that… it doesn’t comfort me when I found out the truth… nobody likes to be lie too… they feel dumb when being lie upon… and now I know that all these while trying to comfort people is just adding to their misery by telling lies…

Kiki told me that talk is cheap… at first I go against her point of view… saying that is it a crime to help someone feel better??? Can you blame someone for trying to help you feel better??? But then I discover… a little lie can lead to a big thing… and Kiki, I’m sorry for my comment on your blog post…

Mr. Lova Lova wrote about lying… he said everyday people lie… but he never said the reason why… why people lie… from my point of view… people lie for two reasons… for a good cause and for their own selfish greed… then again… maybe there is a third reason… in which I haven’t discover… well who knows… maybe someone reading this has the third reason…

Colours That Define... Life and Death

You come again… after so many years…
You finally appear…
But this time… you come to me with a different colour…
Are you the one that I desire???
Or are you just here to make my life better???

Today I look again at your picture…
It’s not the same… but I beg to differ…
How could I put up with this any longer???
I thought that I’ve become stronger…

To lose you was devastating…
I had kept me wondering…
After we have shared everything…
Suddenly you went missing…

When I knew that you were gone forever…
And leave me to a place here after…
I was very shock to discover…
That it’s all over…

I’ll pray that you’ll be in a better place…
A place where you’ll receive grace…

Rest in peace my beloved friend,
Our friendship will never ever end…

P/s: In the memory of my best friend and cousin…
-Al-fatihah-

Sorry Mr Dog

Since I didn’t bring my broadband to Segamat… I have to walk to the nearest cyber café to post my blog and to check some mails… after about two hours of surfing the net I decided to went home…

After I walked out of the cyber café, I decided to smoke… but I didn’t bring my cigarette pack… I went to a stall near the cyber café… and bought a pack of Dunhill 14’s… after I light up my cigarette… I continue walking home… I was walking and smoking and text messaging at the same time… but still my eyes were focusing on the road… just before I start replying my text message… I saw a black dog in front of where I was going to walk… but I didn’t pay any attention to it… I kept on walking and past the black dog…

Just after I past the black dog… all of a sudden… a big brown dog was behind me… it was barking at me… I turn around and see its sharp teeth… it was growling and barking and was about to attack me… but I was not afraid… had some experience with dogs like that… so I just mind my own business and keep on walking… suddenly that dog took a bite of my left leg… most probably because it was piss off because I didn’t pay any attention to it… after it bite me… I turn around and give it a David Beckham “free kick” special… I kick the dog right on its face and half of its body…

The poor dog was flying in the air… this I don’t shit you… it really happened… after that it ran away… I was mad at the dog for biting my leg… but at the same time I felt sorry for kicking it… Sorry Mr. Dog… I didn’t mean to kick you that hard… well at least you know that you wouldn’t dare to mess with me again…

I think I should see a doctor about this bite… its not that serious… just a scratch… but my friend suggested that I go… maybe tomorrow… lets just hope that I don’t turn into a werewolf tonight…

Boys night out !!!

I just got back for the semester break... i wanted to relax at home... but the boys ask me out... its been a long time since i went out in JB... it was fun... lots of things change... i was glad that i went out that night... the new flyover had finally finish... the road now is all twisted and twirling... anyway... we had fun that night... here are the pictures that we took...

Once... when we were we..

I've shared lots of stuff in my blog, so why shouldn’t I tell my story of you??? This is probably the last picture I have of us… since I burn all the others… remember this picture??? It’s the first time we go on a date outside of JB…

Why I choose to tell the story now??? The reason is simple… I never did get over you… 10 years we were together… we grew up together… from friends then you’ve become my number one enemy… remember all the fights we had when we were kids??? I still remember the time you chase me in school just because I pull your hair… you were the track and field star back then… but try to catch me now… I’m much faster now… hahaha… remember the time when you push me down the stairs??? I fell and sprain my ankle… but you were the one that was crying… we had many fights since I confess that I like you when we were in primary 4…

Later when we get older… we chose to forgive each other… and become friends… without us knowing… we’ve become closer to each other… and we become bestfriends to each other… a year past and we finally become lovers… well at least one of my dreams in life came true… and that dream was you… I thought that you had the same dream too… I guest those 4 years that we were together had made you see other dreams in your life… Can I blame you for having a dream??? No I can’t… as much as it was painful to except that you are leaving… I let you leave me… someone said that “if you love somebody you learn to let go, if she comes back to you then she’s yours…” I think that, that phrase is not finish… I would say that “if you let go and she comes back… she’s yours… that is if you want her back…” I love you… had always love you… but never could I except you back… why??? The answer lies within you… its not as simple as just forgive and forget… you and I know that…

And now you have been replace… maybe she’s not as perfect as you… and you think that too… but to me she’s perfect… more that you could ever be… love to me is abstract… its never to be understood but to be felt… so don’t think that I can’t make it without you… even thought that I haven’t gotten over you… I’m still trying to… so far she’s helping me to forget you… but hey… no worries… could anyone truly forget their first love??? I’m still here as a friend… and that is all we’re ever going to be to each other…

Reverse suiside

how can u say u love me... but in your heart u don't... how could u say u miss me... but in your mind is someone else... each time we spent together... dosen't ever seem to matter... and you call yourself my lover??? what is all this fucking bullshit???



do you know how i feel when i miss you... when i need you... but u don't care... its always about u.. when will it be about me??? when will i finnaly see that you never love me... why am i keeping myself blind... its all because of a stupid feeling i have for you called LOVE...

I fucking hate your stupid lame excuse... " its not you.. its me.. " yes it is you... from the fact that i know that... its still a FUCKING excuse just so that u dont feel bad... i still feel that pain... for years... and years to come...

How do you manage to sleep at night... after doing the things you do... ????

21 questions

1) Single, Taken, or Crushing?
- No longer available

2) Are you happy with where you are?
-i'm home... hell yeah i happy

3) When you meet the right person, do you fall fast?
-Nope... hard to fall... i keep my stand

4) Have you ever had your heart broken?
-the spelling of heart broken doesn't match the no of times

5) Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where if they cheated on you and you are planning to dump them then
- i'm the one that always being dump... and always gets cheated... so... i got no idea how to answer this question...



6) Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
-they all comes back... i'm the type that looks to the future... whats in the past is just a reminder of things to come... so i'll say a big NO!!!


7) Have you talked about marriage with another person?
-its a scary question to ask about... i just turn 5...


8) Do you want children?
-Duhh... yeah...

9) How many?
-A whole football team.. hahaha..

11) If somebody liked you right now, what do you think is a cool way to let you know?
-flirty at ten thirty????

12) Do you enjoy playing hard to get?
-obviously :))

13) Do you want someone you cant have?
- ya, she's married to dato' K .... bummer... : P


14)Do you believe love at first sight exists?
-i'm short sided.. so can't see it until it hits me on the head... hahah

15) Do you believe in celebrating anniverseries?
-definately :)

16) Do you think you can change someone?
- i can but i just adore u the way u are. no need to change u.



17) If you could get married anywhere, where would it be?
-in space... that would be cool.. hahaha


18) Do you have feelings for someone right now?
-yeah...


19) Have you ever wished you could've had someone but you couldnt?
-never :))


20) Have you ever broken a heart?
-refer to question no.4 & 5


21) Would you ever fight over a guy/girl?
=of course not.

let them fight over you ! hahaha

Earth Angel

I can still remember that night... Is was dark, but there was light... its there when you hold my hand so tight... and you come close to me and whispered that you'll never leave my side...
You had me in full delight... even thought the moon didn't shine as bright... but that still doesn't prevent what had happen that night...

Its was the first for both of us... it just happen and we both was speechless... you had left me breathless... under the shimmering lights ... i leave you that night...

From far i saw u still standing in that spot where i had leave you... all the moon's lights seems to shine upon you... that is when i realize that you wasn't just a girl... you're an angel... my earth angel...

I Love Hockey

The girls team,
Its Ain's last karisma before she grad...
Good luck to you in the future
To bad for Anna her partner in crime
has now Graduated...









Crazy having fun
What a way to stop worrying about the finals..





The boys team...
We were at Kuantan Bay... its a beautiful place... we took lots and lots
of picture...





Karisma Jengka,
This was at the entrance of UiTM jengka, was bored that night... so we went strolling around campus... taking pictures before we went of to Kuantan for the tournament...

Damn Jengka is big... tired after just one round of strolling...

F:U B & B

Hey you... don't be bitch...

I hate people who put their head up their ass... thinking that their good enough... what a stupid joke you are... keep it up.. and we'll see who will stood by you in the end...

why are u being a bitch??? does it runs in the family??? shove your nose up your ass... you and your so called cool words saying this and that to people acting like they don't have feelings and threating them like shits... the truth to the fact is.. YOU ARE THE SHIT!!! so Fuck you bitch...

Hey you... don't be a bastard...

Don't be a prick and treat women like dirt... ain't your mama a women too??? or was your mama a bitch too??? then fuck you...

all the reaches you have, the fame and the name... equals to nothing if you don't have respect... to get respect you have to respect others first... you bastard and bitches better be where... what ever you give... you'll surely get back... its karma baby...

On A Journey to Find Me...

I was lost at sea… trying to find a land that would promise me… free conscience… Where there would be nothing but the truth… to walk straight… to walk tall and be proud… without ever feeling any doubt…

For now I swim so that I wouldn't drown… to keep my dream alive and not letting that dream be buried to the grown… faith is a powerful thing… when you truly believe… you can achieve anything… because of that… I keep on having faith… without faith then I would surely be… a man of vengeance that lives in solitary.

Along this journey I see… God's creation that amaze me…

A man can truly be a man when he is not another man but himself… and so I've seen lots of men that aren't truly man… I've been living among them… and I've become them…

I set upon this journey… to find what's left of me… I swim the open sea… in search of a land that a voice had told me… where it would be a place that virtue runs free… a place where I can truly be me…

To whom it may concern

i love sharing my thoughts and other people thoughts... you can learn many things... thank you kiki for introducing me to blogging... and thank you miss cokelat for helping me with my page... i finally found one thing that i would never get bored off when I'm surfing the net...

Sahabat, Cinta & Future

dia pergi kerana cinta...
tidak bermakna die pergi salamanya...
tetap juga dia mempunyai cinta...
cintakan dirimu iaitu sahabatnya...

walau pahit harus tetap kau terima...
bahawa dirinya telah berpunya...
bukankah setiap satu yang bermula...
akan datang nanti pasti ada akhirnya...

dia tidak pergi selamanya...
jadi janganlah kau kecewa...

ikhlas la dikau pada dirinya...
hargailah dirinya seadanya....
dimatanya kau juga istimewa...
kerana dikau adalah sahabatnya...

A small world it is...

i often hear people say that its a small world... i always doubt that... because there are many places in this world i haven't been yet... but now i know the meaning of a small world... i was seeking out how to make my blogspot look more interesting... so i brows the bloggers profile.. then i stumble upon this one profile... her page was attractive... so i text her in the comment box... lucky me that she was friendly... so she help me to set up my cbox...

i was so attracted by her page that i didn't even read all of her blog... after she replied my msg.., i soon realize that we were much closer then i thought... what a small world it is...

thank you... you know who you are...

I'm not your's to take

I'm not your teddy bear...
that you could pick up to hug when you need me...
and throw me under the bed when you're done with me...

just stop what ever you are trying...
don't even start crying...

I'm not the idiot that you once knew..
its u who choose to walk out my door remember??? now that the door's close... you're crying just because i wouldn't let you in??...

once... you were my everything... nothing else in this world would matter... each and every time you and me are together...

you CHOOSE to leave... and left me with just grieve...
coming back shouldn't be your option...
feeling my head with all this stupid emotion...

you see me now with somebody new...
and she is someone that you already knew...

so let me be...

Confius alligator, Angry butterfly

trying so hard just to impress
but i end up feeling depress

just to put that smile

that would make my day worth wile

all the mess I've create
and now it's me you hate

why can't normal be a part of us
is it so hard for you to trust?


a butterfly is made to fly
up so high above the sky
an alligator is made to swim
deep in the water where the lights are dim

Each goes their saperate way
Both went astray
would it be nice if both stay???

School of Hardknocks

I've been places all over… meet with new people each time… so I can say I pretty much seen it all… but once a while I'll stumble upon one particular person that change my point of view towards life and people around me… to make a long story short… I'm an admirer of his thoughts and views in life… his principle…

He teaches me that when you get close to a person, you'll get hurt by them… everybody is a hypocrite, weather they admit it of not… they are… He also teaches me that in life… you need to be a bit selfish so that you'll get what you want… but you don't always get what you want… it all depends on your effort to achieve it and a little bit of luck…

Life is mysterious, you can always plan it… but it's never for sure… you take it as it comes… you can prepare for it… but always the unexpected happens… I always hear people say don't trust anybody… have a little doubt… because no one can truly be trusted… I find out the truth in that phrase the hard way… if you said that I'm wrong and you have someone that you truly trust… then think again… sooner or later they'll turn on you… of if you said that you are a person that can be trusted… then ask yourself… how true is it… if you lie about it.. Then that conclude my saying that everyone is a hypocrite…

The truth of my nature is I like to help people who are in need of my help or even someone that don't ask for my help… I'll be happy to land a hand… Why??? Because helping others is actually helping myself… you might not understand my explanation… you see… I've made lots of wrong turns in life… I find that by helping others is a way for me to redeem my self… maybe it sounds dumb… I just don't want people, someone I know and care about (mostly my friends and others) does the same mistake as I did… But sometimes you need to let people make mistake and let them learn from it…

People who like history truly can benefit from it… the saying goes that history has always a way to repeat itself… much in life… people always want to talk about the future… but rarely took a step back at the past and think about their actions that could effect or alter their future… some people can be so knave…

The young and the old always have clash of thoughts… the old would say during their times things are different… and the young would say welcome to the 21^st century grandpa... later in life when the young gets old they would say the same thing to their youngster… this example explain about the circle of life… The old and young are important… their thoughts collaborate to shape the future… the young represents the future and the old reminds them about the past and don't let them make the same mistake…

After my friend share his thoughts with me… he asks me about my views on what he had said… I said that I can't agree more with him… as I do very much love history… to be a successful person doesn't mean that you need to have high education… all it needs is just effort and determination to achieve it…

Reminiscing the oldays

I love just sitting in a place... a quite place... where the view is nice... and the wind comes and goes as it please... what's nicer is having someone to talk to... having a long conversation... sharing view and thoughts about life...

its hard now to spent time with my childhood friends... each of us have our own commitment in life... but once in a blue moon... we would meet up... and just pour everything out at Joe's or sometimes Maliki's... we would talk back about our past... the stupid and dumb things we did... even thought that the story is the same from the last time we've meet... it wold still be funny... all of us wanted everything to be as it were in the old days...

time doesn't move backward... time doesn't wait for any man... as we grow older... we still acted like kids... this shows that our current life is hard... every one wanted to relive the old days... back when we're kids... because... when you're a kid... the only thing that you have to worry about is just yourself... not anyone else's ass...

owh... guys... do you still remember that time when we're kids??? waking up 6am in the morning to play badminton just to avoid the wind... go and jump into the river... taking a dip without bringing any spare cloths... the time when we make a kite together just because mom wouldn't give the money to buy them... playing football in the rain... ride on the bicycle downhill to see who's bike the fastest... remember my first guitar lesson... tried to learn to strum and the string split... and how jealous you guy's we're when i and afiq built our tree house and you guy's wasn't invited... those were the days huh??? it grows far a part from us day by day... but i know it will forever be in our memories...

No matter where we've been, people we've meet, it still doesn't change the fact that we are best buddies... growing with you guys was fun... as fun as going into the jungle... you'll never know what you will encounter next...

The three

Nadt : Aril : Yana : Camym

For the three

This is for the three,

That means so much to me,

The one's that matters,

For worst or better,

The ones that I held so close,

The ones that I care most,

Each smile, each tears, each laughter,

Brings us closer together,

Even we often misunderstood each other,

Things will always turn out for the better,

Every moment of us I’d cherish,

Even though one day I shall parish,

You guys are the only thing I wish,

That God wouldn’t let vanish,

You guys where there when I needed somebody,

Protected me when I was pick by everybody,

Help to strip my loneliness away,

And put it astray,

Thank you for everything,

For giving my life meaning,

For not ever leaving,

For the greatest feeling,

Its either fate or destiny,

That we meet and come to be,

Best friends for life…

A++*

my parents never told me not to talk to stranger... and i end up talking to many strange people in this world...
meeting with people and watch how they live their life sometimes make me feel great full on how my life is... no matter how hard life seems for me... i know that someone out there is worse...
by feeling so... i tried to help them... help them feel that life is still worth living...
what is it for me??? nothing... just a simple thank you and a promise of friendship...
am i too knave on thinking that everyone is good to me when I'm good to them... i don't care...
if even their not... its not my lost...

for me life is too short to be pis and mad... moody and grumpy all the time... better to spent that time enjoying life... enjoying God's give... and life life just as it goes by...

Prove of live is not fair...

This is a story about a boy name Zafran who wanted to buy a shirt that cost RM50... but he doesn't have the money... so he borrowed from two of his best friend... Asfar and Anep... both RM25... after he got the money from them... he went to the shop to purchase the shirt that he wanted... but on that day... there was a discount... and the shirt that he wanted to buy was only RM45... after buying the shirt... Zafran has a balance of RM5... he gives RM 1 to Asfar and RM1 to Anep... so he is left with RM3... now he owes Asfar RM24 and Anep RM24... so he owes RM48
(48+3=RM51) how could it be RM51 since he only borrowed from them RM50???

now i've calculated this so many times and still cant get it how could it be RM51... there was no interest involve... lastly i give up... and conclude that life is just unfair...

if NOTHING last forever... then i only want nothing...

Once i was told that everybody got something that they had to leave behind... but what ever that i leave in my past... always has a way of coming back into my life... just when i least expected...

as a kid i was trouble... got involve with so much trouble just because i was lonely.. trying to get attention so that people would acknowledge my exsistance... things i did that i was never proud of... that i thought has become my scars... now it seems that my old scars are starting to bleed again....

i saw in a medical show once... the doctor said to the patient that when you hear voices in your head... you can be diagnose with skyizsofreania... in other words you could go insane... i have a multi character inside of me... i could be just about any type of person i want to be... base on my surrounding, situation and type of people im with.... i keep changing constantly... just in a split second... some come up to me and say that i have an innocent face... but i know its all nonsense...

that all change when i meet her... for once in how long i cant remember... i become just a person... i've become normal... because i was loved... she made me realize who my true self is... when ever im mad, sad, or going to be bad... just the tought of her calms me down in an instant...

there's a saying... what goes up must eventually comes down... so does for every good thing must come to an end... why is it there is always a saying in everything..

4 years it lasted... and that is what forever meant to her... well i was too ambitious thinking it would last forever... if NOTHING last forever... then i just want NOTHING....

A Couple of Sorry & A Thank You

I was just sitting around when you walked by… with that beautiful smile… You were as cute as a butterfly…

From that moment on, I've become your admirer… Then later I moved on to become your stalker… for what ever it's worth…

You're the girl that matter… I just wish that I could understand you better…

I'm sorry that I ever lied… Sorry that I made you cried… Sorry for what I said… and for what I've done that made you wanna hate…

You are one of the few I idolize… Just the thought of you leaved me mesmerize…

Your thoughts showed me the other side of you… A side in which I never knew…

Before…

I often misunderstood… on why you keep on swinging moods…

Now I can finally see… how we view things differently… For that I'm truly sorry… because I was being silly…

Thank you for giving me something to smile about… you're a friend that I can't do without…

I promise to stay… only if you don't go astray…