You will dearly be miss

Grandpa past away...

I was shock and I don't know what to say... I got my final today.... but I went back last night anyway...

To see him for one last time... to give my last hugs and kiss....
to tell him that he would be dearly miss...

and old Chinese saying said:
" You wouldn't cry until you see the coffin"

I felt so much that I want to cry.... but tears just can't came out of my eye...
He look so peaceful... and as if he was just sleeping.... and it had me wonder was i dreaming...

But soon I saw grandma...

She was surprise that I came back... I held he hand and kissed it.. and give her a hug...
then is when I started crying... but just... just for a little while...

I spent 3 hours in JB... but the highway is the only part of JB that I could see...

Sometimes in life.... you've lost the one you love... but God has always a plan for all of us...

My only advice....

"appreciate the one you love while you still can... you never know that today might be your last time seeing them.... "

In loving memory of my Late Grandpa whom had just passed away
30 October 2009...

~Al-Fatihah~

Living or Leaving the past???

I've always live in my past.
Hoping that everything would last..
But everything just change so fast...
Without me knowing... I've become an outcast...

I guest I should just forget...
and continue living life without regret...
Since you only live once before you're dead...
I should take what ever chance I get...

But could i really say goodbye
and except that everything had gone to die...
to continue on living a lie...
so that my heart will no longer cry?

I bother to stand the rush

Why should i consider... Why did I even bother?
What was done is something that I can't alter...
The decision is made and you still wonder...
Which is good and which is better....

I know where I stand....
I'm just a helping hand...
someone you could depend...
When all else comes to an end...

Shut up and hush....
What's up with all the rush??
Its just a bruise... a little gush...
I'll clean it up with a brush...

Kau sangat x patut...

F*** Malaysia? kau cari makan kat mane?




Bakar pastu buang Malaysia macam sampah? time kau susah siape yang datang tolong dulu?


kau yang berperangai bangsat...

bukan nak mulakan kemarahan... nak mulakan kebencian... tapi agak terlampau tindakan...
kau ni banjingan...

gigit tangan orang yang memberi rezeki dan pertolongan....
siape yang x malu sebenarnya?

Once i was told that everybody got something that they had to leave behind... but what ever that i leave in my past... always has a way of coming back into my life... just when i least expected...

as a kid i was trouble... got involve with so much trouble just because i was lonely.. trying to get attention so that people would acknowledge my existence... things i did that i was never proud of... that i thought has become my scars... now it seems that my old scars are starting to bleed again....

i saw in a medical show once... the doctor said to the patient that when you hear voices in your head... you can be diagnose with skyizsofreania... in other words you could go insane... i have a multi-character inside of me... i could be just about any type of person i want to be... base on my surrounding, situation and type of people im with.... i keep changing constantly... just in a split second... some come up to me and say that i have an Innocent face... but i know its all noncense...

that all change when i meet her... for once in how long i cant remember... i become just a person... i've become normal... because i was loved... she made me realize who my true self is... when ever im mad, sad, or going to be bad... just the thought of her calms me down in an instant...

there's a saying... what goes up must eventually comes down... so does for every good thing must come to an end... why is it there is always a saying in everything..

4 years it lasted... and that is what forever meant to her... well i was too ambitious thinking it would last forever... if NOTHING last forever... then i just want NOTHING....

SHOULD I OR WOULD I ?


I COULD IF U WOULD...


BUT WOULD I ?....

I REALLY SHOULD HUH ?


BUT WHAT WOULD YOU DO...


IF YOU COULD AND YOU SHOULD


OR IF YOU WOULD?

Luahan peringatan

Serious... aku penat...

Please... if kau nak menghilangkan diri... please pergi dan jangan kembali...
bertahun aku ambil masa untuk aku lupe.... tapi kau datang mengingatkan semuanya...
kau datang dengan berita gembira... aku cuba nak gembira same... tapi hati aku terseksa mengetahui kau nak mendirikan rumah tangga...

Berape lame kite bercinta... berape lame kite bersama.... separuh dari usia kita.... dan kau ingat dengan mudah ke aku lupe semuanya???
aku gembira bile kau datang semula.. walaupun dengan berita duka.... tapi sekali lagi kau pergi... dan kau pergi dengan menguriskan hati....
luke lama belum pun kering darahnya... kau tambah dengan luka baru yang tah bile akan sembuhnya....

Aku xpernah jatuh cinta lagi sejak dengan kau kecuali sekali... dan die lah yang pertama mampu buat aku lupe tentang kita... aku lupe sepenuhnya... dan saat itu aku teramat bahagia... cuma malangnya bukan jodoh aku dengan dia...

Buat masa ni kau tolong la pergi... aku xnak ingat kau lagi... hati ni dah terlalu sakit untuk menghadapi semua ni lagi...

aku bukan benci... xde langsung perasaan iri hati... cuma aku harap kau dapat mengerti... biarlah semua ni.... sehingga suatu hari nanti... tadkir menemukan kite kembali....

Izinkan aku melihat dari jauh kehidupan kau... aku cuma nak lihat anak tu nanti...

Kasut span Hitam

serious... setiap kali aku sebut.. atau teringat... aku mesti nak ketawa... aku sendiri pun tak tau kenapa... tapi sebab kasut span itam tu la punca.... buat dendam dan marah aku hilang semua...

semalamam aku berfikir,.... aku terkenang.... tarik rambut dan kene tendang.... mungkin aku ketawa dengar word tu sebab aku terbayang kau cakap dengan nada yang marah... dalam marah kau pun ade comelnya....( ye aku puji kau )

aku x paham... aku terus jadi x kesah... walau aku cuba nak cari balik rase dendam tu dengan baca balik ayat2 makian kau... tapi bile aku teringat kasut span itam... aku ketawa... skrang pun aku masih ketawa.....

Aku just harap suatu hari nanti kau xlagi benci aku... xde lagi dendam... walaupun aku tau pada kau tu x mungkin terjadi... aku dah maafkan semua kesalahan dan kesilapan kau.. walau pun aku tau kau rase xde... aku pun harap kau pun macam tu jugak... harap kau bahagia dengan hidup kau sekarang dan akan datang...