This I don't understand....

aku baru je meninggalkan satu commitment.... well... aku sorang je yang committed dalam hubungan tu... sundal tu xpun... ye lah name pun sundal... dah memang begitu perangai beliau... awal dulu siap mintak nasihat Miss Chocolate lagi camne nak handle situation macam die handle aku...

if korang yang bace ni cakap kenape aku pilih si sundal tu in the first place... ade kaitannya dengan Miss Chocolate.... padan dengan muke aku sendiri sebab xhargai die dulu... sampai die bosan dengan aku... yg aku xfaham... kenape... rase frust... xdapat melupakan... rindu.... semua tu langsung xde....

mulanya aku rase lega.... tapi dalam hati fikir.. kenape dengan aku nie... kenape rase macam nie... sebab macam x patut... ye lah baru je putus cintakan....

Abby yg selalu amek tau pasal aku kat office tu pun tanya... "Kau asal nampak happy je bile putus" aku xde jawapan untuk soalan die tu... aku rase macam lepas satu beban....

nak disamekan... rase die macam lepas aku abes final paper aku untuk last semester.... dan aku grad... macam tu lah rase lega die...

Si Cantik tau pasal hal aku nie.... dan die cakap aku ni kene "guna-guna" aku rase x.... sebab apa aku begitu yakin hanya aku je tau kenape...

Jangan risau... aku akan ceritakan segalanya.... pelan2... identity orang2 dalam cerita2 aku yang lepas2 pun akan terbongkar.... beserta gambar untuk tatapan dan pemahaman kamu semua...

Kau datang kau pergi... aku... still lagi kat sini...

Die datang lagi... tapi kali ni aku x tau samada nak suruh die stay atau pergi...
tapi die datang banyak kali... tapi yang dulu baru je pergi... xkan dah nak suruh die tetibe muncul kembali...

benda baik slalu datang pada orng yg sabar menunggu... tapi menunggu pada aku kadang kala sesuatu yang xperlu... sebab x sedikit pun membantu bile aku sedang merindu... tapi tgk je la dulu.. pe yang dah berlaku... semua tu sebab xsabar nak tunggu... tapi aku buat ape yang aku perlu.. tapi rase macam aku ikutkan perasaan ngan nafsu... tu agaknya yang buat aku bertindak melulu... sampai akhirnya.. aku sendiri yang buntu...

ishk.... benda nie xrumit kalau aku pandai menilai... mane yang baik.. mane yang xboleh pakai...
hurm... tapi benda nie macam xperlu je.. lagipun... keputusan die nanti xmenentu...
biar la kali nie aku sabar lagi.... sabar sampai yang datang nanti... betul2 xkan pergi...

its been two weeks now since the start of the semester... things are all moving fast... damn fast... well its always been like this... since i first arrive here few years back... just need time to adjust after a long break...

Today i was ask to give an idea on what topic to write... i was trying my best to think... but today... its pretty much been very hazy... i don't know whats going on with me... i think i still left myself back in JB...

Someone told me today that when she read my blog... she thought that i was someone who is serious all the time... but I'm exactly just the opposite...

Lots about me that people often misjudge... and i wish i could told them off.. and stop them from making assumption about me... but... its now my style... i believe in freedom of thinking... and something is just better left unsaid...

I'm happier this semester... but still the sense of emptiness is still there.... but not when i'm with Ted... He's been there for me... a good friend... he makes me smile each and every time... you'd be surprise to know who Ted is... well currently he's not with me.. his status is away... on a week vacation... that's just the thing... we never been a part for 7 years... and this is first time... but he's doing well... just chought a slight fever... but i know he is in good hands...

this is just getting weird and weirder for me... and i love it...