NOPE... I'M NOT OKEY... I'M NOT EVEN ALRIGHT....

Can't help to be popular these days...

What's up with these people? can't you get off my back? shit!!! 
I do my own business... I never mess up things in your life... so why don't you guys just fuck off!!! you catch my drift here?? 


Hey If I remember correctly... one of you did say I'm a nobody... so??? why do you guys still talk shit bout me? what's worst... I don't even know you... Isn't it like enough the last time I went there... it got ugly enough.... what more do you want me to do... start shooting? 


I have my friends... who's loyal... because I now how to be friends with people... You? what do you have? just words.... and it doesn't mean fuck.... you came here... smoke my cigarette.... even finish up the hold box... stole my money... eat my food... be nice in front of me... but behind my back... you bad mouth me...
You I can handle some other time... watch out... your playing in thin ice here... 


All the new and young people I meet these days are either a bitch, a bastard, a dickhead or a fucking fagot...   


Man I miss the old boys... people I knew... people that I could pun a lil bit of trust on... who doesn't stab me in the back... because we look out for each other... damn it.. I miss the brotherhood... But I can't... why are you guys forcing me back... 


When I'm nice to you... I don't expect anything in return... but please.... don't step over my head... and don't misjudge my kindness... 


Things are getting fuck up every moment... but still... as always... I try to look on the bride side... Hey look... I've been staying home hiding myself.... just minding my shit and don't even bother yours...  because you guys think that I'm a treat... I did... and now... I'm in the hole... you guy still want to flood it with water? now what's up with that... 


Just Fuck off will you... and let me be...  

Hari-hari.... frustrasi... 
dikelilingi manusia berminda jingga..
yang hanya ketawa bersama
di belakang menikam... 
tikaman kau kejam


Jangan kau paksa keris sakti ini keluar
terlalu buruk padahnya... 
terlalu dalam kesannya... 
hingga aku sendiri takut memegangnya... 


Kau hidup dalam ilusi diri... 
berpaksikan minda jingga milikmu... 
aku berdiam tidak bererti kalah... 
aku kan serang tanpa kau sedar... 

I'm Tracking you one by one...

Hurm... seems like I have a growing reader...

I've just added fidjit few weeks back from Miss Fragile's page.... I know before this there are some readers that I don't know about... since I got fidjit... I can see there are people from places I've been...

So I know whose been reading this blog

I'm flying solo... and I crash the plane... shitt!!!

Start kerje lepas raye hari Jumaat hari tu... then sabtu ahad dah cuti... nak jerk amek MC... tapi Isnin dah kene relieve Si Mak Tiri tu la plak... so Isnin... aku solo wat akaun GL and Bank Negara Reporting tu... bley plak transaction cam sial... memang la x balance kan... so lambat la aku balik...

Masuk Hari nie dah 3 hari stright pukul 8 lbh baru sampai umah... dan hari nie... sedih tol... nak cerita pun sedih... apesal lah leh terjadi...

hampeh sungguh... semalam baru nak beli housing baru... tapi tak jadi.. ade petanda rupanya....

Peringatan... jangan bawak HP ke tandas.... (paham2 sendiri jerk lah ape jd kat hp baru aku tu)

Don't ever feel guilty...

You have no need to ever worry

No need to ever feel guilty...

I know you would be happy without me

If that is what you're worry about me....

Many times that you've told me... 

To relax, be patient and take it easy... 

But at the end of this story... eventually... 

You're the one that betray me... 

But I don't have regrets... 

I'm not mad for things I didn't get... 

What I feel now is glad...

For what ever i've given and for what i've said

I know myself completely 

I know I have the quality

to have and achieve more then you see

I know that people would be lucky to have me

If you don't have the eyes to see... 

Don't have the heart to feel.... 

Whats left is for things to be... 

and make this real.... 

Her eyes... 
I'm lost in it... its hard not to look at her when she speaks... 
I can't remember if that was the reason... but her eyes are part of the list... 
Her nose... her hair... the way she smells... it brings back memories... the type that I want turn back time and be in that moment... 


The moment when she first hug me... and that was my first hug... how we sat in silence... and just enjoy each others companies... that moment... back in time.... 


That was the greatest first date that I ever been in... and I'm sure... nothing can top that... 


I guest that I'm just the type of guy who lives in his past... reminisce on what once were... but in my mind... it will always be... just me and her....  

Style of your hair

shape of you eyes and your nose

the way you stare, as if you see right through to my soul

To your left hand and the way that its not quite as big as your right.

The way u stand in the mirror before we go out at night.

Our quiet time

your beautiful mind

There all part of the list

things that I miss

Things like your funny little laugh, or the way you smile, or the way we kiss

What I notice is this

I come up with

something new every single time, that I sit and reminisce

The way your sweet smell, lingers when you leave a room.

Stories you tell, as we lay in bed, all afternoon

I dreamed you now every night, in my mind is where we meet

and when Im awake, staring at pictures of you asleep

touching your face

invading your space.

There all part of the list

things that I miss

Things like your funny little laugh, or the way you smile, or the way we kiss

What I notice is this

I come up with

something new every single time, that I sit and reminisce.

And you live in my memories for evermore, I swear (x2)

There all part of the list

things that I miss

Things like your funny little laugh, or the way you smile, or the way we kiss

What I notice is this

I come up with

something new every single time, that I sit and reminisce.

Raya Moments at Grandma's House...

Asal korang dengki aku tido ngan Ted.. ceh~

Cartoonic Picture

Nenek bersama... Cucu2nya yang NORMAL!!!

Nenek Bersama CuCunya yang Menggila!!!

My Beloved late Grandpa... We all miss you Yayi... it's not the same without you... even thought I still feel your presents around... I do miss you... Al- Fatihah... may Allah rest your soul Grandpa... AMIN~

I want to be rich

I want to be rich and may be famous. I do not want to be just an asshole who try hard to living the moment.
A lamp post may be suitable to live the moment.  Lamp post is damn loser shining in the night name it rain or shine.  Lets change this blog title to leading the moment. Terra cotta warrior still living the moment ..

Dulu hati penuh cinta... 
namun cinta itu penuh dusta...
Kini hati membenci pula... 
Namun bukan kerana kecewa... 


Diri kini lebih bahagia... 
Kenapa Cinta nak mengganggu pula... 
kenapa perlu menunjukkan muka... 
sedangkan kau adalah punca... 
hidup ini porak peranda... 


Maaf???... owh itu sudah lama... 
tiada guna untuk mengingati luka.. 
yang terbaik melupakan dan menerima... 
semuanya adalah ketentuan"Nya" 


Maka lenyaplah cinta... 
Pergi... hilanglah selamanya... 

Shiver by coldplay

So I look in your direction

But you pay me no attention, do you?

I know you don't listen to me

'Cause you say you see straight through me, don't you?

But on and on

From the moment I wake, to the moment I sleep

I'll be there by your side; just you try and stop me

I'll be waitin' in line, just to see if you care

Oh…

Did you want me to change?

But I'd change for good

And I want you to know that you'll always get your way

I wanted to say…

Don't you shiver

Shiver 

Sing it loud and clear

I'll always be waiting for you

So you know how much I need you

But you never even see me, do you?

And is this my final chance of getting you?

And on and on

From the moment I wake, to the moment I sleep

I'll be there by your side; just you try and stop me

I'll be waiting in line, just to see if you care, if you care

Oh…

Did you want me to change?

Well I'd change for good

And I want you to know that you'll always get your way

I wanted to say…

Don't you shiver

Don't you shiver

Sing it loud and clear

I'll always be waitin' for you

Yeah I'll always be waiting for you

Yeah I'll always be waiting for you

Yeah I'll always be waiting for you, for you

I will always be waiting…

And it's you I see but you don't see me

And it's you I hear so loud and so clear

I sing it loud and clear

And I'll always be waiting for you

So I look in your direction

But you pay me no attention

And you know how much I need you

But you never even see me

JB here I come baby...

Ampun dan maaf andainya aku ini…


Terkasar bahasa dalam bicara


Tersilap bicara semasa bersama


Termarah yang tak kena tempatnya


Tertanya tak tentu hala..


Tersasul yang tak sengaja


Terpukul kat mana-mana


Terpekik kuat di telinga


Terhantuk terketuk di kepala


Terpinjam terambil harta & benda


Termoody tak semena-mena


Terumpat bila ada cerita,


Teremail benda yang tak sepatutnya kau terima


Termacam-macam yang kena-mengena.. ,,


Di hari yang mulia sepuluh jari ku hulurkan semua,


Memohon kemaafan atas segala dosa yang ada


Kerana aku masih bernama manusia


Pastinya tak lepas membuat dosa


Semoga dimaafkan,


Salam Aidil Fitri Maaf zahir & Batin

For your info.... kesensaraan kau tadi xberi kepuasaan pun kat aku...

aku sentuh kau pun tak... asal sampai banjir ko nak nanges... berani buat... berani tanggung ar...
awal dulu masa first kau buat... aku wat bodoh je... kau budak lagi... bukan aku xpernah warning...

kan dah semak hidup kau skrang.... balik la kampung sane... KG. COM betul la kau nie...
aku pun dari kampung gak... xde la se culture shock cam kau...

memandangkan dah nak raya... aku cool je la tadi... kau ngan balak kau pun same... xpayah nak tunjuk kuat la kalau ramai... aku xpernah kesah pasal tua ke muda... aku boleh hormat kau.. kau hormat aku.. dah... cukup tu je...

Kau jangan la fikir kau je yg kuat... nak ugut aku macam kau lebih berkuasa dari Tuhan... tempat kau boleh la kau nak berkokok...

bagi aku dah settle dah... if still tak puas hati.. lantak kau lah...

• Farel Flitzer ya i just notice that...

  Saturday at 2:50pm ·  ·  1 person · 
• 

  Joey Sew Ru guo Yi chia nen gai Bian na duo Hao.. Shi bu shi?

  2 hours ago ·  · 
• 

  Farel Flitzer mei you sheng me yao ni gai bian, shi yi zhing kuo le bu yong yi zhi xiang.. mei sheng me la...

  2 hours ago ·  · 
• 

  Joey Sew Ma de.. Ni you zhi dao wo shou me.. You shi hou hai man Xiang ni de.. Gen ni zai Yi chi de shi hou hai man kai xin.. Ke shi you shi hou ni hai man wu Liao..

  about an hour ago ·  · 
• 

  Farel Flitzer wo pu che tau... xie xie... wan ann

  about an hour ago ·  · 

what to write??? what to recite???


Cant think of anything much... there's just too many things lingering in my head right now...


to the "voices in my head"


DO SHUT UP!!!


I cant understand why people tent to talk about me event that they don't know me... and there would be individuals who talk like they know me better then myself... 


Go on.. keep on talking... when I'm done with you... you can't even talk shit... 

I AM FORBIDDEN TO LOVE 

Monday.. owh.. Monday...

This coming Monday I'm sure I'll get the Monday Blues... 

I woke up late on friday... and for the first time made an excuse not to come to work... I never did "ponteng" before... 

I just lost my spirit to work... it seems like there's no reason left for me to go on... all because of that fucking bitch... I can see my difference... so does my colleague at work... since I've been in the new department... I've change... 

God.. please I beg for you to give me strength to handle this...  

so now you know...

Why do you ask question that you already know the answer to? 

Seriously... what do you want me to say? 

U think if i stop caring... and there's no feeling... that I would update myself with what's going on in your life? 

u should know better... U made me forget about my past... you were the only thing that I could think of to make me smile.... to feel happy.... 

But what do you do when the only person on this earth that could make you smile is the one that made you cry? who else could you turn too? 

After you...the others are so easy to forget.... because it was not as real as what we had... I don't know bout you... but I was looking forward for a future with you... that's the only reason and explanation why I'm brave enough to meet with your dad.. your mom... hangout with your brother and treat your lil' sister as my own... and why I was brave enough to bring you and meet with my family... even that i know my mom hate it when I'm in a relationship during my studies... but she loves you... she did ask about you after.... 

what was i suppose to tell? 

You question my heart about you... said that I was over you just because I forgot few things about you... don't you remember I use to remember everything... from your favorite color, your actual hight and the hight you tell people that you are even that you're not that hight... what you like to eat... the size of your slippers and shoes...  

Then you just left... during my critical state in life... tell me if that is easy to forget... you said it was... most probably i was just a joke to you... you just don't know how much you mean to me... and I've been living my life and work hard enough to live up to my promises to you... but u never know that... 

You've help me more in the past... things that no one would... and so if you must know... the answer is "YES"

and you know that is the answer for your question you asked me... 

In the night, I hear 'em talk, 
the coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul to a woman so heartless.. 
How could you be so heartless? 

Oh.. How could you be so heartless?

How could you be so, cold as the winter wind when it breeze, yo
Just remember that you talkin' to me though 
You need to watch the way you talkin' to me, yo
I mean after all the things that we've been through 
I mean after all the things we got into 
Hey yo, I know of some things that you ain't told me
Hey yo, I did some things but that's the old me
And now you wanna get me back and you gon' show me
So you walk around like you don't know me
You got a new friend, well I got homies
But in the end it's still so lonely


In the night, I hear 'em talk, 
the coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul to a woman so heartless.. 
How could you be so heartless? 
Oh.. How could you be so heartless?

How could be so Dr. Evil, you bringin' out a side of me that I dont know.. 
I decided we weren't gon' speak so
Why we up 3 A.M. on the phone
Why does she be so mad at me fo'
Homie I dont know, she's hot and cold 
I won't stop, I won't mess my groove up 
'Cause I already know how this thing go
You run and tell your friends that you're leaving me
They say that they don't see what you see in me
You wait a couple months then you gon' see 
You'll never find nobody better than me


In the night, I hear 'em talk, 
the coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul to a woman so heartless.. 
How could you be so heartless? 
Oh.. How could you be so heartless?


Talkin', talkin', talkin', talk 
Baby let's just knock it off 
They don't know what we been through 
They don't know 'bout me and you 
So I got something new to see 
And you just gon' keep hatin' me 
And we just gon' be enemies 
I know you can't believe 
I could just leave it wrong 
And you can't make it right 
I'm gon' take off tonight 
Into the night...


In the night, I hear 'em talk, 
the coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul to a woman so heartless.. 
How could you be so heartless? 
Oh.. How could you be so heartless?

I'm emotionally distracted.... seriously I am... my patient and tolerance towards people seems to get thinner and thinner each day... There are countless times I blew off at the office... and what's worst... there was a time where I totally lost it... I almost end up punching my service leader and quiting my job... 


For now I seem to have everything that I've work so hard for... but not the things that I want most... 


without that one thing... I actually don't achieve shit!!! why wouldn't you fucking wait??? what was so bad enough that I did to make u go astray?? why did you when away?? 


You may follow up on my life from time to time.... and you just assume I'm happy... a blog is a blog... it tells story and shit... but what's truly inside the heart...  you can't really know for sure...  truthfully and frankly... I do want you back... but I never ask.... why??? because u said once that you would never come back when you go... thats why I never want to let you go... but u did... 


I admit that I compare others with you... and i confess... that you're the best... 

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