Dear God,

I'm thankful that I live on to be 23 today... there are times in my past that I didn't even think that I could make it to 20... But your help and guidance has put me where I am today...

I'm thankful and grateful for all that you have blessed me in life... for showing me the light when I was in the dark years ago... I'll try to never go back to that road ever again even that some event recently has leaded me to do so...

Please give me strength to avoid the darkside… all I wanted for my birthday is just to know and rest assure that my love one’s are safe and happy and most importantly safe from any harm.

Your humble servant.
Mohd Shahrilnizam Bin Omar

Derita merindu

Kau katakan cinta gunakan akal
Bila aku gunakan,
kau yang menyangkal
Bagaimana nak kekal

Kau katakan cinta gunakan minda
Bila aku gunakan
Kau yang tak percaya…
bagaimana nak bahagia

Maafmu tak bererti, kau mudah sesali
Berulang kali telah kau mungkiri
Manis mulut berjanji terpedaya lagi
Menanti biar terus didustai

Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
Kaulah derita (bagimu)
Esok lusamu, tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa

Dan aku cuba sedaya upaya
Telah ku usaha dengan sepenuh jiwa
Bagaimana hendak ku lupa
bayangan wajahmu selalu di depan mata
harum baumu masih dapat ku hidu
Bagaimana ingin aku membencimu
Jikalau setiap hari merindu
Sekiranya derita merinduimu itu sebenarnya bahagia..
Aku pilih derita..

Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
Kaulah derita (bagimu)
Esok lusamu, tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa
Mungkinkah esok atau lusa walau biarpun lama
Akan ku biar tiada, ku tetap kan setia
Entah bila akan tiba sampai jua harimu yang sama
Esok seperti semalaman yang tak berubah
Kaulah tanda tanya… kau tiada titik noktah
Ku dibuai mimpi lena dikejut igau semula
Kaulah tanda tanya… kau tiada titik noktah
Ku dibuai mimpi lena dikejut igau semula

Seandainya kau berada di depan mata
Mudah untuk aku berkata-kata
Supaya dapatku melihat seraut wajahmu
Walaupun belum tentu kau mahu bertemu
Apalagi memandangku
Setelah ku turutkan segala kemahuan kau mainkan perasaan
Begitu mudah kau ucapkan terimalah saja kenyataan…
Aku masih terkilan

Maafmu tak bererti, kau mudah sesali
Berulang kali telah kau mungkiri
Manis mulut berjanji terpedaya lagi
Menanti biar terus didustai
Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
Kaulah derita (bagimu)
Esok lusamu, tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa

Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
Kaulah derita (bagimu)
Esok lusamu, tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa

Jika kau dapat memahami hati seorang perindu
Baru kau tahu derita hatiku
Jika suatu hari nanti giliran kau merindu
Baru kau ingat derita diriku
Segala yang berlaku bukan kemahuanku
Apa gunanya bahgia
Jikalau bahagia bersamamu hanyalah untuk sementara waktu
Aku pilih derita merinduimu

Maafmu tak bererti, kau mudah sesali
Berulang kali telah kau mungkiri
Manis mulut berjanji terpedaya lagi
Menanti biar terus didustai
Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
Kaulah derita (bagimu)
Esok lusamu, tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa
Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
Kaulah derita (bagimu)
Esok lusamu, tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa

Sosej & Lembu

Ada kisah seorang anak yang diberi peluang untuk belajar di Amerika untuk dapatkan degree, tapi selepas 15 tahun, tak pernah lulus, akhirnya bapak dia dah tak sanggup lagi tanggung beban wang untuk anaknya itu, terpaksalah dia bawak balik ke Malaysia.Sepanjang perjalanan dari airport ke rumah, bapaknya diam aje (marah la tu).

Si anak dah rasa tak best, so dia pun cari la idea untuk berbual & tunjuk pada bapak dia yang dia kat Amerika ada gain something la dgn pekembangan teknologi. So dia cakap dgn bapak dia:

Anak: Bapak tau tak, kat Amerika sekarang teknologi dah maju giler. Sekarang nak buat sosej tak payah nak sembelih lembu, buang kulit, masuk je lembu dalam machine, dah jadi sosej....

Bapak: Itu teknologi dah lapuk. Kat Malaysia lagi advance. Aku 32 tahun dulu, masukkan sosej aje dah keluar lembu sekor... menyusahkan plak tu...

Thank You Note

First of all, I would like to Thank God... as God has made this posible.

I still remember the first day I came here, I was already welcome by all, for that warm welcome had made me feel confortable. I would like to thank Kak Fiza for showing me around and teaches me all there is to know about CRC. Thanks to my other two teachers Coney and Yoges for the three of them had made me able to sattle with CRC as quickly as I did.

Thanks to Abg Nizam, because of him I know good places to eat, expand my network of friends in other departments in Standard Chartered andmost importantly I would like to thank him for his advice and wisdom he shared with me.

To Abg Rosli, whom he too shared his knowledge and wisdom and played a part in teaching me about the BCA, to Kak Dayana who tolarate my stupid jokes and always have something to share with me either verbally or via mail

Thanks to Kak Pae whom had been 'the rugged' sister I never had, Kalai who always smile and lough at my jokes. Sorry that I played my jokes on you too much.To KaK Suria event that she's often silent but shared some stories that is fun to know.

Many thanks to abby, for sharing her experiance and tolarate my behavior of wanting too many pens, pencil, and other stationary that's in the printing room. To Paul... for sharing his newspaper and his table for me so sleep for a while when I'm too tired. (it only happend once). and Guan... even that you're new.. its been fun knowing you.

Many thanks to all of you in CRC and special thanks to the people in SME CRC,Kak Pija, Kak Shida, Ayu, Heni, Hazlan for being supportive of me.
I would like to state my apologies for the things I've said and done that had been offensive and rude.

thanks for welcoming me as part of the family...

Why I still have him at 23...

He is my conscience…

People often say I’m crazy… but I don’t mind… they said that’s I’m a spoil brat whom my parents would give anything that I want when I wanted it…

How wrong are all of you…

Talking to people needs trust for me… I can’t simply express to anybody… there are some that I’ve shared with… but only partial… lil’ bits and pieces from the jigsaw puzzle of my life…

But he already knows what the picture is all about…

He smile when I’m happy… even when I’m sad… he keeps my secret… even the darkest of them… and I can trust that he will never tell…

Only one person beside him knows me almost as much…
Maybe she’s the one that I need to finish my story for “A boy, A girl and A little bear”

Bile Marah....

Apabile kte marah, macam2 boleh keluar dari mulut nie... kata2 yang akhirnya mengundang penyesalan pada kemudian hari... pernah dulu aku diberitahu... apabila kite marah.. kite selalu akan kuarkan segala kata2 yg benar dari dalam hati kite... ape yg kite betul2 rase... teori tu ade betulnya... tapi x dijelaskan dengan detail...

kite memang akan dengan tidak sengaja mengeluarkan kata2 yg x diingini atau didegari... secara spontan... kemarahan tu datang disebabkan ketidakwarasan akal yang menyumbang kepada perlakuan tidak rasional...

tetapi marah tu jarang sangat berlaku... marah biasa ialah marah yang selalu... marah bergaduh... dalam situasi ini... intipati kata-kata yang diucapkan tidak membawa sebarang makna... hanya untuk mencari kemenangan, kepuasan bertikam lidah...

kata2 yang terpancul lebih kepada untuk menyakitkan hati orang yg di ingini... dendam.... jenis ni lebih radikal pengunaannya kerana fitrah manusia untuk berasa marah... sesungguhnya bersabar itu sebahagian dari iman.... maka kuatkan lah iman tu supaya kita bersama boleh belajar brsabar dan elakkan pertelingkahan yang tidak mengutungkan mane2 pihak....

"Dangerous To Know"

Some secrets need to be kept

Some stories should never be told

Some reasons shouldn't be understood

They just might turn your blood cold

Who needs all the answers?

Who takes all the chances?

Who said the truth's gonna save you?

When the truth can be dangerous

Like the way I feel

It's alright to steal

What I need from you

Do what I have to do

Say what I have to say

Go where I have to go

And that's dangerous

Dangerous to know

I was a law onto myself

When you found me out on my own

Together nothing was sacred

Together we where alone

Who needs all the questions?

Who lost their direction?

Who said a lie's gonna break you?

When a lie could be dangerous

Like the way I feel

It's alright to steal

What I need from you

Do what I have to do

Say what I have to say

Go where I have to go

And that's dangerous

Dangerous to know

Ignorance is bliss

You're safe when you resist

There's no safety in a kiss like this

It's dangerous

So kiss me

Kiss me

Like the way I feel

It's alright to steal

What I need from

Do what I have to do

Say what I have to say

Go where I have to go

And that's dangerous

Dangerous

Like the way I feel

It's alright to steal

What I need from

Do what I have to do

Say what I have to say

Go where I have to go

And that's dangerous

Dangerous to know

Some secrets need to be kept