I'm so NOt over you
Tell me How... because i have all the answers but still i can't find ways to forget about you...
If only i didnt send you that text message... then i would never find out... how stupid of me to do so... I think its betterfor me to find out about it after you got married... so that the thouht of you getting married doesn't honst me at night... thinking of ways to stop you from gettin married to that guy... but that's just wrong... you from all people deserve to beliving the happy life you always dreamed off... it would be selfish of me to prevent such a thing from happening.... but... the funny thing is... i always thought that i was the one that would make you happy... the one that would take you to the ligtat the end of the tunnel... but it was never meant to be....
but i can say that it wasn't my act... That night... it was my heart that tells me to text you that night... even though thatits been more then a year since i last heard anything from you...
as usual me and my words would melt your heart... and i'm sure thats what made you reply my text message... well you said it so yourself... its always been that way... i've written a hundread poems for you since before we were an item... I don't know whybut i always have this inspiration to write about you... it doesn't matter that i'm happy or sad,,, or when i'm mad... in goodtimes or when times are bad... there would always be something to write about you... and now i wonder.. where did i get all this inspiration from... I think its because of the deep feeling... the campassion of my love for you without affection... you were my first true love... my first and only true love....
suddently i remember what i've wrote in one of my poems for you....
"Cinta suci yang abadi berlaku hanya sekali
walaupun kita tidak pernah pasti
namun cinta suci tetap kekal abadi dihati
walau tidak dapat disatukan di akhirnya nanti"
True love will only happends once in our livesbut we don't know when it happends...
but true love remains true in our heart and lives forever in our mind.... even when we fail to become one...
I never did find a replacement for you.... and i've been with a hundread girls after you left... there was one or two that hadinspired me to write about them... but i could only write one or two.. not a hundread like when i was with you...
why did you come back? why do you have to put me in this situation again.... all i think about now is you... and you getting married.... and no i will not come.... i will not go to you wedding.... i don't want my tears to fload your wedding day...
If i ever go... i would go with a special someone... whom manage to made me forget about you just by being with her... She wasthe perfect replacement.... no... she's not a replacement... she's more then that... she showed me how to love again... but she's gone too... and so this is how my love story ends... I'm trying not to feel sad.. because i don't wan her to feel guiltyshe was a breeze when she come... she swept me right off my feet... but like the breeze... it fade away..
Tuesday
Wednesday
so whats new about me?
lets see... my ex girlfriend... whom i was involved with for almost 3 years... the first love that i ever had is going to get married this July.... she invites me to come to the wedding.... that's just so awkward... never invite and ex to your wedding... why??
why invite a failed romance to come and see a successful one?
of course i wouldn't go... Im letting my past go by treating it as it never existed.... its the best way... just forgive and let go....
then just as i thought that i had found someone that i could love more then i could love my ex... ( believe me.. loving someone else just as much is hard for me) she dumped me... and so that conclude another failure in my relationship....
isn't live just fun....
i'm done being downhearted... being brokenhearted... and other feeling associated with the heart... i'll treat all the other girls after this as a temporary flings.... but then again... i could be looking back in my past for this one particular person whom always have a special place in my heart....
lets see... my ex girlfriend... whom i was involved with for almost 3 years... the first love that i ever had is going to get married this July.... she invites me to come to the wedding.... that's just so awkward... never invite and ex to your wedding... why??
why invite a failed romance to come and see a successful one?
of course i wouldn't go... Im letting my past go by treating it as it never existed.... its the best way... just forgive and let go....
then just as i thought that i had found someone that i could love more then i could love my ex... ( believe me.. loving someone else just as much is hard for me) she dumped me... and so that conclude another failure in my relationship....
isn't live just fun....
i'm done being downhearted... being brokenhearted... and other feeling associated with the heart... i'll treat all the other girls after this as a temporary flings.... but then again... i could be looking back in my past for this one particular person whom always have a special place in my heart....
Friday
i'm so damn bored this holidays....
have to wait till bight to get some excitement...
but the real deal is always on the weekends.... nothing ever really happends during the week days...
God.. i need to find a job.. at lease something to do during the day... i've quite clubbin... so spending time with my friends has its limits....
so much time to be spent.. but nothing much to do....
have to wait till bight to get some excitement...
but the real deal is always on the weekends.... nothing ever really happends during the week days...
God.. i need to find a job.. at lease something to do during the day... i've quite clubbin... so spending time with my friends has its limits....
so much time to be spent.. but nothing much to do....
Monday
The Malaysian Hockey Team....
Hockey is a sport that I love.... that i'm good at... that i'm really2 good at... when i first hold a hockey stick back when i was 9 years old.... i never seems to be able to drop it... even that i say in countless time that a tournament would be my last act... i always come back next year...
I've been following up with the Malaysian squad since i can remember... and what i see is now is decrease in their performance... Hockey manage to see the World Cup countless time even the Olimpics... but people often talk about football... and i'm afraid looking at things now... HOckey may follow tha path of football... we use to be number 4 in the world... our player manage to be in the first evelen in world's all star team ( Mirnawan Nawawi) but now... i don't even know whats our current ranking....
Hope that there will be a come back for the Malaysian Hockey Team...
Mirnawan Nawani = Playing Days
With Chua Boon Huat after scoring a goal
Saturday
I'm trying to hold my growth
A friend of mine keep on complaining to me... he ask me " why can't you act your age dude" and in my reply brings me to write about this post....
as to my previous post... I've said that 'maturity is in the state of mind'
you often see or meet with people who are younger then you but when you look at them they seem so be a lot mature then you.... or sometimes you're surprise to know someone's age by looking at their maturity level....
there are two ways to help someone mature faster.... one is thru hardship in life.... kids who went thru hard life tent to mature faster then their age.... from hardship they gain experience in life to guide them in the future.... just watch 'slumdog millionaire'... how his hard life as a kid paid off and makes him a millionaire....
but its crazy if you have a good life and try to experience the hard life just to mature faster.... there's a second way of achieving that maturity state.... just elevate your company.... by elevating your company i mean hangout with people whose older then you... much older.. but not that old.... lets just put about people who's 5 years older then you...
why 5 years? lets just put it as your goal in life... let's say that right now you've just reach you're 2o.... and you have a friend whose already 25.... you say to yourself... in 5 years time.... "will i be the type of person my 25 year old friend is or will i be better?" so along the way you'll learn the ropes that will make you 25 even when you're 20 since you hangout with them....
as for me.. when i was 18... i hangout with a group of friends who are 23 or 24.... for that period of time hanging out with them... i act their age.... i did grown up stuff... that i can't say in particular...
and when i enter uitm... I've become like this... a somewhat childish... and i love it.... i'm done growing up.... I'm trying to hold my growth... just to get back those years i've lost....
my advise would be... don't try to get mature faster... just go with your natural pace... and you'll end up living without regrets....
as to my previous post... I've said that 'maturity is in the state of mind'
you often see or meet with people who are younger then you but when you look at them they seem so be a lot mature then you.... or sometimes you're surprise to know someone's age by looking at their maturity level....
there are two ways to help someone mature faster.... one is thru hardship in life.... kids who went thru hard life tent to mature faster then their age.... from hardship they gain experience in life to guide them in the future.... just watch 'slumdog millionaire'... how his hard life as a kid paid off and makes him a millionaire....
but its crazy if you have a good life and try to experience the hard life just to mature faster.... there's a second way of achieving that maturity state.... just elevate your company.... by elevating your company i mean hangout with people whose older then you... much older.. but not that old.... lets just put about people who's 5 years older then you...
why 5 years? lets just put it as your goal in life... let's say that right now you've just reach you're 2o.... and you have a friend whose already 25.... you say to yourself... in 5 years time.... "will i be the type of person my 25 year old friend is or will i be better?" so along the way you'll learn the ropes that will make you 25 even when you're 20 since you hangout with them....
as for me.. when i was 18... i hangout with a group of friends who are 23 or 24.... for that period of time hanging out with them... i act their age.... i did grown up stuff... that i can't say in particular...
and when i enter uitm... I've become like this... a somewhat childish... and i love it.... i'm done growing up.... I'm trying to hold my growth... just to get back those years i've lost....
my advise would be... don't try to get mature faster... just go with your natural pace... and you'll end up living without regrets....
Sunday
The truth that most girls should know
"boys are jerks, who like to play girls, but boy should give their girlfriends diamonds and pearls. boy are dogs, who just dont care, but girls do care, its just not fair. boy say I love you, which to them means sleep with me, I never knew it before but now I see. boy just dont know how much they mean to someone, because they're just plain dumb. boy are great dont get me wrong, but can they stop for one second thinking of girls in thongs. Im not saying all are like this, cause some are sweet, and those are the ones I would really like to meet."
by sasha
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