Hidup tak pernah seindah novel-novel yang pernah aku baca... 


Awal dulu waktu aku berjinak2 dengan buku... novel lah buku yang sering aku baca... dan sebab itu jugak aku boleh score dalam sejarah... ape relevantnya novel dengan subject sejarah.... aku je yang tahu... 


Novel itu semuanya penipu... dipenuhi fantasi dan imiginasi akal untuk membawa penbaca ke suatu alam dimana segalanya mungkin... tapi setiap orang perlukan itu... perlukan buku seperti itu untuk lari sebentar dari kepayahan  hidup dialam realiti... 


Waktu dulu... itu adalah aku... yang kuat bermimpi... berangan kan sesuatu seperti di dalam buku itu... namun dewasa kini... baru aku menyedari... hidup menang tidak seindah mimpi... tanpa usaha... tiada apa yang akan menjadi... 


Perjalanan aku 6 tahun ini.... dipenuhi pelbagai cerita dimana antaranya ada yang ceria.... dan hampir keseluruhannya duka.... sukar terasa untuk ku temukan bahagia yang kekal... ada sahaja mereka yang akan menyangkal... tapi Tuhan temukan aku dengan die... yang mampu buat aku lupekan segalanya... memberi aku semangat untuk memulakan semula... membina impian dan harapan.... sesuatu yang memacu diriku untuk maju... 


Tapi adakah die tahu? apa makna dirinya bagiku... 


Aku tidak takut menghadapi segalanya kerna aku cuma berserah padaNya dengan berkat usaha... kerana sagala yang terjadi dah pun ditentukan dan telah pun ditetapkan... tapi aku takut pada ketetapan kehilangan dirinya... 

bahagia itu ada...

Malam tidak lagi sesepi
Hari yang tiada mentari
Pagi tidak lagi sesuram
Bagai tiada bulan diwaktu malam


Badai seperti biasa kan tiba
Tapi rasa tidak lagi sehiba sebelumnya
timbul sedikit ceria
tatkala dunia memudarkan warna


Masih boleh tersenyum


Firasat hati telah lama mati
terkubur dalam jasad ini
Namun bahagia dapat ku cari
masih dapat kurasakan kehangatan mentari
dikala hari telah meninggi


Datangnya dia dari masa silam
Menerangkan hati yang dulunya kelam
menyalakan api yang terpadam
riuh hatiku yang dulunya diam


Bahagia itu ada

Kamu.. itulah aku...

Tidak kita ketahui
Apa mungkin yang akan terjadi
Apa yang akan kita tempuhi
Bagaimana kita akan duiji

Seperti "Kita" yang tidak dirancang
Ia datang tanpa diundang
Dimana pada awalnya kita bimbang
Namun bersama... kita tenang

Kau risau akan caramu
Risau dirimu akan buatkan ku buntu
Sedangkan risau itu tidak perlu
Apa sahaja dirimu... itulah aku...  

At some point in life...
everybody gets into trouble... it's how the individual takes it... either to take it as a challenge or freak out...
but believe me... eveyone does freak out when it comes into certain types of problem...

I've encounter countless problems before... and I only freakout on serious issues... once I freakout about it... my mind would be in a irrational state of mind... and inproper actions are made...
Just like my current situation...

What have I done... its something that I can't be proud off... but it had to be done for the sake of my survival... of only I could share some of it here... but it would offend many people here... for now I've recognize my enemies and so call friend... no one is that true to a person since its something that is very much complicated in its origen.

I feel like going away for a while.... somewhere that is far from all this... but that is how it started... leaving is easy... but it does make things go away... it just become worst... I wonder if facing it would be easier or just avoid it...

I'm moving on in March... come April... I

Scratch what I've said earlier... the opportunity comes to me earlier... Thank you God...
as of Next week... I'm gone baby... Gone...

Is your birthday day 22 of the month?

Your Life

You have the boss character, but not a leader. Most people look up to you

for your capability and confidence although they find you quite stubborn.

You should listen more to others. You are a unique and charming individual.

Your Love

You hardly take the moderate track. You either love or hate someone. Whom

you call friends are the chosen ones. If any of them betray you, you won't

let them get away without having hard time.

living life well balance...

Do you have your definition of happy?

My definition of happy is to see the smile one someone's face.. and know that their smile was cause by me...
something I did or samothing I said... it doesn't matter... for as long as it anable people to smile... that's happiness to me...

Once I've neglected them all... and be in my own world with just another person to care about... but when she left... I was in a very dark place... darker then I even been before... but friends... true friends... light the way out of the darkness and bring me to light... after that... for a while... friends plays an inportant role in shaping my characteristics...

I put them first before my personal needs... I listen to their problem... cheer them up when their down... lift them up like I was once lifted by them... but it got out of control... I took them all as my brother and sister... and what happen was... I was taken advantage off... I don't mind at first... I just let them be and be sincere in what I do... I felt at the time was... "Why bothered being loved by only one? when you can be love by many?" and so I live my life being loved by many... but that had an impact when I found someone that I wanted to spent all my attention at... and because of that.. she felt neglected and left... 

Now I've learn a lot since then... you need to keep it all balance... not too much and not to less... as to much of everything can make you sick...  

Caugh in the middle...

I never been thought to differentiate between diamond and glass... nor to say so about a pigeon and an eagle... to me they are the same... "a Bird"...

I don't chose to whom i'm friends with... I'm friendly to everyone who's friendly to me.... I treat everyone the same without every dividing them to categories... Yes I've been miss treated by people who call themselves my friend... being lied to and stab on the back is all been my experience in this friendship world.... friends come and goes... but a true friend stays... that is what I can say about it....

I'm friends with you... I'm friends with him and her... even you and them don't see eye to eye on every matter...
I don't even bother and only say whatever... but NEVER.... i say it again NEVER teach me to chose sides between the two.... because if you do... you just lost the right to call yourself my friend...

Each of my friends I treat like a brother.... care for them like a sister... because friends are my own chosen brother and sister that add color in life... arguments are natural... i treat them like siblings rivalry... but don't temp me especially when I don't know what's going on and being cough  in the middle....