Kisah 6 tahun dulu

Suatu hari dari 7 hari di Langkawi...

Aku: Mr. Mark... how do you end up here in Malaysia?

Mr. Mark: Well I've been travelling the world with my yard since I first bought it when I was 24...

Aku: How old are you now?

Mr. Mark: 26

Aku: So you spent 2 years travelling the world... wow... I'm sure you've been to a lot of cool places... but it must be lonely travelling alone...

Mr. Mark: Nope... not alone... I sat sail from Perth with my Girlfriend... Yeah... we've been around... Dubai, Egypt, Vanice, and all over Europe...

Aku: Wow... you must be a rich guy to be able to go places... it must be wonderful to travel around... and its more meaningfull to travel with someone you love...

Mr. Mark: Yeah... and No... I'm not a rich guy... I bought the yard from a friend... I fix it up good and decide to travel the seven seas...

Aku: What do you do for money? don't mind me asking...

Mr.Mark: Owh.. no.. not at all... I work... took any job that I could find... just like right now... and when we have enough money.. we travel to some place else...

Aku: I adore and envy you... you get to go places where I could only look at in pictures... one day... I want to be just like you...

Mr.Mark: hoho... you can my boy... but first you need to know your place...

Aku: My place? what do you mean?

Mr. Mark: To travel somewhere... you need to bring something from home... it doesn't mean a 'thing' but knowledge of your home... so that when you travel around and learn about other places, people and their culture.. you need to trade some or yours also... if not.. it would be embarrassing.. wouldn't it?

perbualan itu berakhir dengan Mark melukis peta Australia di permukaan pantai di salah sebuah pulau di Langkawi... die menceritakan tempat2 di Australia... dari malam tu aku berangan2 nak jadi macam die.... mengembara melihat dunia... antara kenangan 7 hari yang aku ingat sampai mati...

mungkin suatu haari nanti aku mampu buat semua tu... tapi mungkin bukan berlayar... aku nak terbang....

BMX... HONDA EX5???

Just that day...
Before you went away…
I still remember what you say…
But now I can't even say hey...

I don't really believe in destiny
Because I think it was fate that brought you to me…
It may sounds like destiny…
Or it’s just something that is meant to be…

I don’t how or what I feel…
But deep inside it’s telling me that this is real…
I’m sorry to call you a third wheel…
The truth is you made me go heads over heels…

I don’t really know what you mean to me…
My fears made me blind that I can’t see…
I just don’t want to loose what you have with me…
I don’t want to be the enemy…

It’s been a while since I’ve heard from you…
I think it’s fair to say that I miss you…
Right now I just don’t know what to do…
Wish that everything would pull through…

A friend in need is a friend indeed…
You’re a friend that I really need
I’m sorry for all my wrong deeds…

how can I NOT be emotionally disturb when...

I keep on loosing everything that i hold dear in my heart...

I had a bestfriend since i was 3... he was my first friend in this world... but I lost him when I was 18... the worst part is... he called me before he died... and we've made a promise.... I never did get the chance to finish that promise to him... I didn't had the chance to go to his funeral.... May Allah bless your soul Inn...

Then I've found another... she was great... the best I ever had... we shared everything... she could solve all of my problems without even saying a word... just being there for mw is comforting enough... then we become lovers... but it ends when she got married to another guy... what are the odds huh? I lost another bestfriend...

over the years.. I've gotten close to people... and create a special bond... but then they just somehow had to move away... because of family... because of work.. studies... and everything else to that matter...

so I thought that I should be friends with someone far away.. who knows maybe we could become closer and closer together.... U know... trying the reverse effect on my theory... but guest what... just as we become close... we drove even far apart....

the looser I am.... enough said

kecelaruan emosi

Emosi aku agak terganggu.. aku buntu... melihat kembali ape yang telah berlaku... mungkin semuanya disebabkan kesalahan dan dosa2 ku...

sepertinya aku dah xnak hidup lagi... kecewa dengan semua yang dah terjadi... kekasih hati yang bertahun aku sulam cinta suci akhirnya berkahwin dengan orang yang selain dari diri ini... kecewa.. hampa.. semua ada... tapi tu la takdir namanya... aku redha dengan takdir tu... tapi bile aku dituduh menyebabkan die sakit.... tu sesuatu yang agak membingungkan aku...

dua tahun lebih aku ambil waktu... hanya untuk melupakan kisah silamku... tapi semuanya kembali menghantui diri.... pe kejadahnya semua nie? aku sendiri masih tak mengerti... dulu aku ingatkan dah pun ade pengganti... bile die curang... orang lain yang aku pandang... tapi soal hati.. memang usah nak mengerti... bukan mudah nak difahami... die cinta sejati... aku terima die kembali.. dalam masa yang sama terpaksa meninggalkan sebuah cinta lagi pergi... maafkan aku aqie... aku terpaksa tanpa rela... kerana hati aku ada padanya... aku tahu kau telah lama memaafkan... namun aku tetap dapat terima kenyataan.... kalau lah keputusan yang aku buat hari tu... berlainan dengan ape yang dah berlaku... apekah agaknya kemugkinan kau dan aku...

setelah itu bertahun aku biarkan hati ini tanpa dikasihi... sepertinya rasa cinta pada perempuan telah sama skali pergi dari hati... namun muncul sang puteri... seorang yang berjaya memupuk kembali rasa cinta yang dah begitu lama tidak aku rasai... segalanya indah seperti mana yang pernah aku ingatkan rasanya... dan banyak perkara pertama aku tempuhi bersama dengannya... memang betul cinta tu mampu buat kita nie buta... kerana aku buta akan segala2nya... perinsip, maruah, ego, aku biarkan jadi hanya perkataan... yang x memberi sebarang makna... kerana kasih aku turutkan... namun semua tu x kekal lama.... seperti mana ia datang.. seperti itu juga die pergi... mungkin bukan jodoh kami...

saling marah memarahi... salah menyalahi... akhirnya mengundang rasa benci... namun benci itu tiada pada ku. tidak pernah ada dari dulu... kerana aku cintakan die lebih dari segala kesakitan... kerana die mengajar aku kembali nikmat cinta... semua ni salah aku... salah aku kerana tidak pernah tahu... bagaimana mengambil hati seorang perempuan... menjaga dan membelai.... hati dan naluri seorang perempuan...

pernah suatu ketika dulu.. aku tahu semua tu... mungkin kerana terlalu lama x merasakan cinta.... aku lupe akan segalanya... maaf sherna... maaf atas segalanya... maaf kerana aku buat kau kecewa.... kau antara terbaik pernah bertakhta dihati ini... ampun kan segala dosa aku pada kau... andainya ajal maut datang menjelma.... lebih awal dari yang aku jangka... aku pohon kemaafan kepada semua.. yang sengaja dan xsegaja aku sakiti... secara sedar atau tidak... kerna aku hanya manusia biasa....

andai aku mati nanti... siapa yang akan datang menziarahi? siapa yang akan sedekahkan al-fatihah kepada ku nanti... adekah aku akan terus diingati... macamane dengan orang2 yang aku tnggalkan? adekah mereka akan bersedih atas pemergian? bukan la niat aku untuk meminta simpati... cuma meluahkn isi hati... andai xsempat bersua muka.. aku coretkan nukilan ni kepada semua... untuk memohan keampunan dan kemaafan... atas segala dosa, salah dan silap yang pernah aku lakukan...

epidemic

It took a while for me to adjust to the news when my friends told me that their getting engaged... from the bunch... 3 still remained engaged... 4 already got married and have kids.... I was adjusted after our reunion when we all met up... and I get to hangout with the babies... in a blink of an eye.. i had become an uncle... I felt old at first... but then i realized that i've grown up... we all had grown up... just that a part inside of me still like to be childish... and don't want to grow up just yet.... and so I went back to UiTM...


That brings me to tell you of what had happen in class today... There's only 2 boys in my accounting class....and so i have to sit beside the girls' =)... as Miss Sugeetha once said to me back in school.. I'm the thorn among the roses.... back to the point of my story... I've notice the girls who sat beside me both have an engagement ring on their finger... feeking epidemic right???


I know that engagement doesn't always end's up with marriage.... but still its a big step.... its the first step befor getting married... its a big of a deal for me since I find it hard to even find a girlfriend... well at least the one that I hace true feelings for... those types of girls doesn't come around my way to often these days....


Getting engaged... op yourself to commitment... seriously?? Its a big step youo know... at such a young age... I guest its God's willing.... So I asked those girls about their fiance and the engagement.... some about this..and some about that.... and for asking that... I was being asked back.... When do I plan to get engaged??? that uestion as so out of the blue... ( Paen please answer these question for me =) ) I simply answered when I turn 30...


Epidemic.. after epidemic event had happen in my life... some of which had made me thinking... and a lot of thinking I did... I'm finding back myself... who I really am... before I ever thinking of satteling down

Benci Disini

Macam sumpaha je aku rase... kene duduk sini lelame... Padehal semua geng2 aku dah xde... memang la x semua... tapi aku selalu sangat terase... ade je yang macam xkene.... mungkin jugak sebab aku nie terlebih mengade.... tapi hari-hari aku tanya soalan yg same... kenape?... kenape?... kenape?... Selalu orang sebut... ade hikmah disebalik setiap kejadian.... tapi hikmah yang datang bukan lah ape yang aku harapkan... ape boleh buat... perjalanan hidup nie memang sukar untuk kite ramalkan.. tapi still aku mencari hikmah disebalik musibah yang melanda diri... Walaupun masih ramai kawan... aku masih lagi merasekan keseorangan... sebab aku sentiase dala kebimbangan. memikirkan ape yang bakal terjadi dimasa hadapan... tanpa seorang pun yang memantu menenangkan perasaan dan pemikiran....

Aku dulu selalu je nak salahkan... sebab 'die' 2 sem aku korbankan... walaupun die yang mainkan peranan... tapi die still xboleh dipersalahkan... sebab semua tu aku yang punya keputusan.. sekarang yang tinggal hanya 1001 penyesalan... Jadi hati2 lah bile buat keputusan jangan ikutkan hati dan hasutan syaitan... tapi kewarasan akal fikiran yang dkurniakan Tuhan...

Hibiscus FC

Dah 6 baju yang aku design... untuk club, wing mahupun persendirian... tapi aku paling suke yang nie... walaupun kene tunggu 2 minggu dan warna yg diharapkan berbeza... tapi still konsep baju nie same...

best bile semalam kuar masing2 pakai 'uniform' rumah... kluar sahur macam orang kebulur....
tapi nampak unite... lame xnampak fenomena nie.. yang agak lame aku xjumpe sejak jadi penduduk tetap segamat nie...

Tak sabar nak beraksi khamis nie... harap lebih bersemangat dengan baju baru nie...

ikuti perkembangan melalui greyhibiscus.blogspot.com