what to write??? what to recite???


Cant think of anything much... there's just too many things lingering in my head right now...


to the "voices in my head"


DO SHUT UP!!!


I cant understand why people tent to talk about me event that they don't know me... and there would be individuals who talk like they know me better then myself... 


Go on.. keep on talking... when I'm done with you... you can't even talk shit... 

I AM FORBIDDEN TO LOVE 

Monday.. owh.. Monday...

This coming Monday I'm sure I'll get the Monday Blues... 

I woke up late on friday... and for the first time made an excuse not to come to work... I never did "ponteng" before... 

I just lost my spirit to work... it seems like there's no reason left for me to go on... all because of that fucking bitch... I can see my difference... so does my colleague at work... since I've been in the new department... I've change... 

God.. please I beg for you to give me strength to handle this...  

so now you know...

Why do you ask question that you already know the answer to? 

Seriously... what do you want me to say? 

U think if i stop caring... and there's no feeling... that I would update myself with what's going on in your life? 

u should know better... U made me forget about my past... you were the only thing that I could think of to make me smile.... to feel happy.... 

But what do you do when the only person on this earth that could make you smile is the one that made you cry? who else could you turn too? 

After you...the others are so easy to forget.... because it was not as real as what we had... I don't know bout you... but I was looking forward for a future with you... that's the only reason and explanation why I'm brave enough to meet with your dad.. your mom... hangout with your brother and treat your lil' sister as my own... and why I was brave enough to bring you and meet with my family... even that i know my mom hate it when I'm in a relationship during my studies... but she loves you... she did ask about you after.... 

what was i suppose to tell? 

You question my heart about you... said that I was over you just because I forgot few things about you... don't you remember I use to remember everything... from your favorite color, your actual hight and the hight you tell people that you are even that you're not that hight... what you like to eat... the size of your slippers and shoes...  

Then you just left... during my critical state in life... tell me if that is easy to forget... you said it was... most probably i was just a joke to you... you just don't know how much you mean to me... and I've been living my life and work hard enough to live up to my promises to you... but u never know that... 

You've help me more in the past... things that no one would... and so if you must know... the answer is "YES"

and you know that is the answer for your question you asked me... 

In the night, I hear 'em talk, 
the coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul to a woman so heartless.. 
How could you be so heartless? 

Oh.. How could you be so heartless?

How could you be so, cold as the winter wind when it breeze, yo
Just remember that you talkin' to me though 
You need to watch the way you talkin' to me, yo
I mean after all the things that we've been through 
I mean after all the things we got into 
Hey yo, I know of some things that you ain't told me
Hey yo, I did some things but that's the old me
And now you wanna get me back and you gon' show me
So you walk around like you don't know me
You got a new friend, well I got homies
But in the end it's still so lonely


In the night, I hear 'em talk, 
the coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul to a woman so heartless.. 
How could you be so heartless? 
Oh.. How could you be so heartless?

How could be so Dr. Evil, you bringin' out a side of me that I dont know.. 
I decided we weren't gon' speak so
Why we up 3 A.M. on the phone
Why does she be so mad at me fo'
Homie I dont know, she's hot and cold 
I won't stop, I won't mess my groove up 
'Cause I already know how this thing go
You run and tell your friends that you're leaving me
They say that they don't see what you see in me
You wait a couple months then you gon' see 
You'll never find nobody better than me


In the night, I hear 'em talk, 
the coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul to a woman so heartless.. 
How could you be so heartless? 
Oh.. How could you be so heartless?


Talkin', talkin', talkin', talk 
Baby let's just knock it off 
They don't know what we been through 
They don't know 'bout me and you 
So I got something new to see 
And you just gon' keep hatin' me 
And we just gon' be enemies 
I know you can't believe 
I could just leave it wrong 
And you can't make it right 
I'm gon' take off tonight 
Into the night...


In the night, I hear 'em talk, 
the coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul to a woman so heartless.. 
How could you be so heartless? 
Oh.. How could you be so heartless?

I'm emotionally distracted.... seriously I am... my patient and tolerance towards people seems to get thinner and thinner each day... There are countless times I blew off at the office... and what's worst... there was a time where I totally lost it... I almost end up punching my service leader and quiting my job... 


For now I seem to have everything that I've work so hard for... but not the things that I want most... 


without that one thing... I actually don't achieve shit!!! why wouldn't you fucking wait??? what was so bad enough that I did to make u go astray?? why did you when away?? 


You may follow up on my life from time to time.... and you just assume I'm happy... a blog is a blog... it tells story and shit... but what's truly inside the heart...  you can't really know for sure...  truthfully and frankly... I do want you back... but I never ask.... why??? because u said once that you would never come back when you go... thats why I never want to let you go... but u did... 


I admit that I compare others with you... and i confess... that you're the best... 

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