i woke up today feeling a bit tipsy...

I was so damn lazy to wake up... just wanted to stay in bed... my head kept on thinking... "I should take MC today"... but then... when I imagine the dragon lady whose nesting at the office... I change my mind....

but this morning was really weired... I feel like crying.... and I still wonder till now what was the reason for it...

I think it starting to get to me...

I should get out more often... but I don't want to... everyone that is with me is a fake... i know they are using me... but I let it be... because secretly without they knowing.. I'm using them... =)

But what's the point of going out... meet with girls... even though they smile at me... I can't feel the spark... it's not there no more... I can't feel it no more.... the heart is dead...

things i do when i open my eyes

No matter how tough you think you are… there would always be a point that you’ll break down… after all… we’re only human…


I never did bother much about my surroundings… who I’m with or what they think… for me… I’m just living that moment in time… where nothing else matters… my characteristics change… depends on each and every situation… only two had manage to make me be the person I truly am... 


One had married… and now with a child… and the other… hurm… I can’t really say… she’s around… but there’s nothing much I could do about it…

From all the fun, dangerous, and life threatening life I use to be in… I chose to hide myself and be discreet. Now… everyday is the same routine… get up at 7am… go to work at 9am… come back either 7, 8 or 9pm… take my dinner… and sleep…

On the weekends… I just tried to wake up as late as I possibly could… but I always woke up early… what a bummer…

I enjoyed being alone… do stuff on my own… what I want to do… my own time…


But as always… there would be a time… it just get to lonely…

I wonder if I would die all alone one day…

HIROSHIMA AFTER 63 YEARS

THIS WAS HIROSHIMA WHEN THE AMERICAN BOMB IT 63 YEARS AGO THAT PUT AN END   

TO WORLD WAR 2.... 

THIS IS HIROSHIMA NOW.... LOOK AT IT... EVEN THAT IT STILL HAS SOME RADIOACTIVE POLLUTION... IT HAS GROWN TO BECOME ONE OF THE LARGEST CITY IN JAPAN... NO WONDER TUN MAHATHIR ASK MALAYSIAN TO LOOK AT THE EAST INSTEAD OF WEST FOR REFERENCE...  

Liu Bolin - The Invisible Man

Can U See HIm? 

He actually paint himself to his surrounding... cool right... talk about taking artistic into another level

NOPE... I'M NOT OKEY... I'M NOT EVEN ALRIGHT....

Can't help to be popular these days...

What's up with these people? can't you get off my back? shit!!! 
I do my own business... I never mess up things in your life... so why don't you guys just fuck off!!! you catch my drift here?? 


Hey If I remember correctly... one of you did say I'm a nobody... so??? why do you guys still talk shit bout me? what's worst... I don't even know you... Isn't it like enough the last time I went there... it got ugly enough.... what more do you want me to do... start shooting? 


I have my friends... who's loyal... because I now how to be friends with people... You? what do you have? just words.... and it doesn't mean fuck.... you came here... smoke my cigarette.... even finish up the hold box... stole my money... eat my food... be nice in front of me... but behind my back... you bad mouth me...
You I can handle some other time... watch out... your playing in thin ice here... 


All the new and young people I meet these days are either a bitch, a bastard, a dickhead or a fucking fagot...   


Man I miss the old boys... people I knew... people that I could pun a lil bit of trust on... who doesn't stab me in the back... because we look out for each other... damn it.. I miss the brotherhood... But I can't... why are you guys forcing me back... 


When I'm nice to you... I don't expect anything in return... but please.... don't step over my head... and don't misjudge my kindness... 


Things are getting fuck up every moment... but still... as always... I try to look on the bride side... Hey look... I've been staying home hiding myself.... just minding my shit and don't even bother yours...  because you guys think that I'm a treat... I did... and now... I'm in the hole... you guy still want to flood it with water? now what's up with that... 


Just Fuck off will you... and let me be...  

Hari-hari.... frustrasi... 
dikelilingi manusia berminda jingga..
yang hanya ketawa bersama
di belakang menikam... 
tikaman kau kejam


Jangan kau paksa keris sakti ini keluar
terlalu buruk padahnya... 
terlalu dalam kesannya... 
hingga aku sendiri takut memegangnya... 


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